Dark Flavored Sensations
by Catristocracy
Summary: "So the girl's fleabag went missing huh? And all of a sudden, I'm the only one that can help her? Fine. But help like that comes with a price. Hopefully she'll be willing to make it worth, as the vampire king has his own ideas of payment."
1. Prologue

**Description: So I wanted to try yet another Marshall and Fionna story. I figured that the way I usually write would nicely fit into a different type of narration, as in, from the perspective of our little vampire. And since the story basically is told by him, expect many innuendos and various other things. Rated M because of many things already present, as well as things that will come eventually.**

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**Prologue**

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It was an evening like any other one could say. Dark, gloomy, the way I like it. For a being like myself, those nights were quite the delight. The shadows whisper all the pleasing melodies to my ears, soothing ones at that. Hardly anyone could hear them. Especially the not-so-bright souls in the land of Aaa. Perhaps it was me thinking low of them. Maybe a bit too harsh, from a perspective of someone that lived over a thousand years old. Or perhaps they deserved it one way or another. Yeah, that sounded much more plausible. The clock on the wall ticked back and forth to remind me of passing time. Passing time, hah, like I ever cared about that. Like that ever concerned me. And just as I were about to take a sip of red jui... I mean blood, that's when the doors opened, letting in the refreshing gust of wind. It was she, who else could I expect? Not that pink buffoon, that's for sure. When she entered, the whole room lightened up, almost as if everything in here shouted - 'what a sight, what a sight'. What a sight indeed. The girl in a bunny hat was always a delight in my home, always a pleasing sensation to follow around, to gaze after. Did she realized that. Well, it was hard not to notice the way I looked at her, that's for sure. Still, something troubled her this time around. Figures – she always came here when she was in dire need. In dire need of company? Nah, that would simply be too much to ask for, but I'd like to imagine it to be otherwise.

"Hello." She simply stated. Slick start for someone that was about to ask for help. "Nice to see you Marshall."

"Hello babe." I responded. She wanted to play games huh? Well, I can play along as well from the very start. "Nice to see you around."

"Yeah. Still, I'm not here to just talk, as much as I would like to."

"Well babe..." Not here to talk. Well, that was obvious from the very beginning. But, we were both on the right track with this one – talking with her wasn't on my mind either. At least not only. "...speak out, speak out."

She hesitated for a while. I like that. Hesitation means she came with something big. Something big would indicate that she was about to ask for a huge favor. And, a huge favor would indicate that the reward for it would be grand. I like grand rewards. Especially from those of such beauty. Just imagine, how much she could give.

"Cake went missing."

She finally spoke. So, it was about that little cat of hers. Or the one that lived with her? Same thing, hardly a difference. The little bag of fleas ran off somewhere and she wants my help to find it? Well, a reason good as any to spend some time around.

"She is just a cat after all." I said, as I tried to sound like I don't care. Why? Well, simple. I like the sound of she makes, trying to convince me. Trying to reach to my conscience. Trying to beg? Nah, that's not like her. "Cats tend to disappear for a while. So what?"

"No, not this time. She's gone for three days now. Way too long. Way too long dude..." She sighted just to put weight to her words. The way she manipulated her voice just to match the right pitch, just to make me interested. Charming. "So I'm worried. And I need help. I've searched everywhere. In every place she enjoys to go, in every place she likes to hide. Nothing."

"Have you tried, I don't know... asking around?"

"Yeah, obviously. No one knows, no one."

"Well my dear little Fionna..." That was my moment to shine. Perfectly crafted words and voila. And yes, crafted. Words are a craftsmanship as well after all. You can say when someone is just using them to spew nonsense, and when someone is using them to obtain more, to forge something perfectly refined. To find balance between each and every one of them and then... oh, who am I fooling. Smooth talk, to get this smooth babe. Nothing more, nothing less. "...perhaps it wasn't whom you asked, but how you did it, huh? You need slick words, for slick people. I know a thing or two about it."

"And you obviously know how to ask those questions, huh dude?"

"Well. If I didn't knew that, why I would say such a thing, right?" As I flicked my fingers, I've noticed that she followed my motion in full. Ha. So she felt in my little trap. Perfect. "So let's say I'll agree to help you. What's in it for me?"

"Well." She shrugged in the most delightful of ways, as to show both 'I don't care' and 'I'm all yours'. Or perhaps it was just what I wanted to see? Beats me. "And what would tangle the vampire's strings?"

"Many things."

"Well dude, thought you'd just do it for me."

She know the ways of persuasion obviously. She knew how to tangle the nerves without doing much. Well, she had obvious advantages in doing so, not that I would oppose. Was it the sweet voice that struck the deal? Or was it that delightful blink of those full, round eyes of hers? Perhaps the way she spoke. Nah. Who am I kidding, the way she leaned towards me and pressed her 'attributes' towards the desk was enough to make anyone in Aaa to dance how she played. Can't really blame myself for being one of them I guess. Pretty faces always find they way around guys like me. The fact that not only her face was pretty, also had something to do with it. So I'm not the most subtle type. Bite me. Or better yet – I'll bite you.

"Maybe I will. If you ask so nicely."

"I knew I could count on you." Well, who wouldn't agree on those terms, seeing that smile before him. Seeing that body before him. Oh, no, no, that wasn't a deal that anyone could shrug off. That wasn't a deal that one could say no too. Both to the deal and to those hips. "Thanks dude."

"So, any leads, any clues about what actually happened?"

"Not really. I mean, I asked around, I even asked Monochromicorn. No one knows a thing."

Well, when you live for so long as I do, you know that there's no such thing as nothing. There are some coincidences here and there obviously, but where coincidences end, a well forged plan appears. You just need to find the right route and follow it till the very end. Well, I know that sounds all fancy and smart, but it's just like that. The simplest solutions are the best ones. I like simplicity. Especially if simplicity will net some kind of profit. And she is quite the gain, I must say...

"I bet someone knows something babe." The way she gazed at me, oh she driven me crazy just by that single notion. Those big eyes, shimmering, craving for each word. Or, at least that's how I'd like to imagine it. Was it that way? Yeah, I can safely say it was. "Like I said, it's just the matter of asking the right questions. It's obvious that when you'll ask someone – do you know where she is, he will respond no. That's just the nature of it."

That answer satisfied her. At least I could read that from the look of her face. Obviously, that's not the only thing I would love to read from her. And obviously, that's not the only need I'd wish to satisfy in her. But, small steps, one at a time they say. Even if I'd like to skip some of them and get to the, should I say, more fulfilling part.

"Guess you're right dude."

"Of course I am." Once again she looked at me in awe. Great. All according to plan. "But tell me. Last time, where exactly did you saw her?"

"Well... she went off to the Candy Kingdom. To get some catnip."

"Oh, catnip, serious business."

"You're joking right?"

Of course I were. That should go without saying. Luckily the girl before me was the smart one, therefore she quickly caught the drift. Good, I hate to explain myself. That, and explaining a joke is never a good thing. Spoils the mood.

"So babe... Off we go. To Candy Kingdom and whatnot. There we'll find your cat. I mean, your friend."

So I flew off from my little spot. Time to shake those dusty bones once again. Time to pour some life into them. I love the irony of that statement. Still, her look was everything that I needed to keep me in motion. As I opened the door before her, I won't lie – I thought about that motion. Still, I bet it was a different one that was in her head. More thrusting one would I say. Crude joke, yeah I know. Works for me though.

"Thanks dude."

Some say that it's a simple curtsey to let the girl pass in the door frame. Some say it's a nice act, the one that separates a boy from a true gentleman. Well, I'll leave that to all the wise heads in their high places, deliberating about their little attentions. If someone would as me personally why I do it, the answer would be simple. To look. At what some would ask? Well, when you'd look at the shaking hips and her moving tights, you would quickly catch the subtle nature of this act. Or maybe not all that subtle? I don't know, I don't really care. We all have our little weaknesses. She is mine I guess. But, Glob, does she have the moves. Almost as if she did that on purpose to tease me. Maybe that was the case?


	2. Chapter I, To Catch A Trail

**Chapter I, To Catch A Trail Or Someone's Tail**

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So we walked in silence, at first at least. It was a fine night to do just that, I admit. The darkness was my kingdom after all. It was no coincidence that she visited me on this very hour. Still, I never liked being quiet all that much. Not for too long at least. Not with the company like that by my side. And she was a wonder to gaze upon. Distracting at that, as her stunning moves made it quite hard to focus. So, yeah, she occupied my mind quite a lot, surprised? You shouldn't be, if you'd only took a glimpse here and there, if you'd only listen to her delightful voice. Not too long however. She is mine, after all.

"So babe..." Someone had to start the conversation. May as well do it myself. "You waited three days to ask me for help? Tsk tsk. There was no need. I don't bite. Unless you ask for it. Not too hard however." Smooth talk always got me far, let's see how far I'll reach this time around. She seems to be quite... interested. And interesting. Oh yes, interesting. "Unless... you ask for it."

"Oh, you know. She tends to disappear. She's a cat you know. That's why I waited for three days, yep." Changing topic swiftly, huh? I see, I see. She was always like that, yet a simple gaze on her cheeks would indicate that there was something more to it. After all, you don't just blush around when you're talking about your cat. "Not that I'm nervous about her. I know she can handle herself nicely. Still, you know. Three days is a long time, just getting worried, ya know?"

"Yeah, I follow."

"Still, it's nice of you, non of the less."

"I'm all about being nice." I smirked as much as I could. "So. You asked me for help because I'm better than others, huh?" The question needed to be asked. Her reaction needed to be seen. Obviously. Toying with her was such a neat thing to do. Especially since usually, she toyed back. And that's what I adored the most in her. That and her lips - the way she bit them from time to time. "Better than the prince I bet?"

"Naw. You know, just figured that you're the most capable. Even if you lack his brains at times, you compensate in other... things." My, my, girl, you say that's the case, but then way you tangle your hair around your finger... Some could say that you're faking that indifference. Lying? Now that's just a step before sinning in a harder way. I like that. "Why so curious? Think I should ask him instead?"

"Depends."

"Depends on what?"

"Depends if you like being bored to death by a guy with a questionable taste in color."

"Nah, he isn't all that bad. Just a bit... extravagant." You can tell me all the sweet lies girl, but I saw that chuckle, I saw it alright. Even when you tried to cover it with that cute hand of yours. "And nice at times you know and... look!" I do hate when she changed the topic. Just when it was getting interesting. Shame. "We're at the spot."

That we were. Candy Kingdom. The most wretched, vile and depraved place in Aaa. Where you can expect to be stabbed on the very street... nah, I cannot do it with a straight face. You wouldn't find more sweeter and colorful place anywhere around. It almost oozed with rainbows, butterflies, charming round shapes, and all of those things that are made from cuddly, lovable sugar. It gave me nausea. But what would you expect from a place ruled by a guy who wore his pink bunny slippers around each night, just to bake some cupcakes or other 'important' tokens that would serve his kingdom. Or his appetite. All the same to me. I'm not judgmental... yeah right. Either way, those kind of stories always lead us to one certain spot. You know, towards the one that all the action happens, at least during the night time. A nearby bar. In any other place, one could argue which one exactly, since there's so many of them. In here? There were only few to choose from. Nightlife in this kingdom never was it's strength. But then again, what was the strength of the kingdom made out of candy? A simple deduction, or rather my laziness, would indicate to go towards the closest one. As we entered, all the candy eyes were fixated upon us. I cannot even tell if they gazed more at me, or, what was also a possibility – at her. I mean, I know I'm quite the sight, still, I wouldn't blame anyone who wanted to gaze just a little bit upon perfection. Like previously, not for too long however. As for the people in here? The usual candy mass of nonsense and dullness, nothing special, nothing grand, nothing exciting as well, that's for sure. Except one of them perhaps. If I were to go by the king of lies nickname, we'd had a real emperor out there. Lumpy Space Prince. The difference between us? The king is a bit more subtle, while the emperor... yeah...

"So, I've told her like, girl, I have like an appointment right now with three other chicks, so if, like, you'd wish for me to spend some time with you, you'd had to, like, do something to catch my attention..." Words, words, words, words. How much he spoke, and how little was underneath it. Him and the fatuous prince in his pointy tower would get along just fine, flooding each other with pointless sentences. "...and you know, obviously, obviously she was willing to do just that, and you know, I can be like, a charmer and whatnot, so therefore..."

"Uhum..."

"I told her if you want those lumps, like, you gotta work those lumps you see, and she was all picky and what not, so I was like..."

"Uhum..."

"...and then like me and my bud, who I hanged out with, told me, naw man, that's not fair, all the babes for you, like..."

Poor bartender. I could see in his eyes that he just wanted to end this nonsense, one way or another. I could understand him perfectly. Well, who would have thought that this time around, I'll be his savior. Charming.

"Hello there, pumpy." I tapped him on the shoulder. As expected, when he turned around he was quite scared about my presence. I have that effect on people one could say, such fearsome beast, such fearsome creature. Or, perhaps he was simply a huge coward. Yeah, plausible as well. "Heard your stories. I have a question or two for you. Perhaps you'll have an opportunity to tell us another thrilling fact from your life."

It was obvious that this gossiping imbecile will know something. Perhaps it won't be something grand, nor it will be the most important thing around, still, if someone would see that little feline, it would be him. He sees it all. Sees and lies about it.

"Like, what you want to ask about buddy?"

"Our little girl lost her friend." She smiled behind me and nodded as the lights in her eyes were lit almost instantly. Delightful sight. "Care to tell us what you know about it?"

"Like, why would I, the most popular lumping being in the freaking universe, would care about a silly flea bag like..."

"I don't know..." Obviously this guy was just made of petty talk. All I had to do was to glitter my teeth in front of his face, and his lumping legs would shake, have he had ones. "...you tell me?"

"Now, like, if you ask so nicely..." His lumping body wobbled around. Amusing view if I were to judge. Like a jelly made out of cotton candy. "...like, I saw the cat, yeah, around, like, in company of a weird guy, masked guy, who gave her something. That was during the day, when I was like.. accompanied with all the ladies, obviously and..."

"To the point now, to the point pumpy."

"Right. So, the guy was tall..." Tall? Yeah right, probably just a little above this round fellow. "...rather bulky, of course, like, no match for me, still..." So, probably quite skinny, yeah. "...and he had this menacing look in his eyes, like, really evil, you know..." Everything that looked wrong at him was like that in his book. "And... and... oh, exactly him, like, on the spot!"

When he pointed at the corner of the room, I expected a gnome or something similar to pop out, judging by the usual stories of Lumpy Prince. Who would have thought however, this time around, this little liar told the truth. A figurine looked at us from underneath the hood with it's two shimmering, black eyes. What was that, it was hard to tell, as we couldn't even take a good look – he almost instantly ran away. Or she? Naw, it ran too awkwardly. Either way, what could we do. We chased after it, quite fast, through the alleys and narrow corridors of candy buildings. The one before us wanted to loose his tail as best as possible. Too bad he had one of the finest after him. Still, even the finest can be mislead, even the finest can loose their trail, as we learned the hard way when the mysterious figure disappeared in the darkness before us, just like that, almost as if he faded in thin air. Well, that was hardly original, still, at times the oldest tricks do the job. The oldest tricks huh? Same could say the same about me, the oldest of tricks. And I always do my job. Alright, alright. At times... What? Fine, only when damsels such as the one by my side are involved. Could anyone blame me however? Just looking at the way she ran, at the way she tried to catch the thug, even at the way she was close to throwing her sword right at him. All indicated perfection. In both her movement and her verve. I liked that. I liked that a lot.

"We lost him." She tried to catch her breath. I could think of a way or two other than running to obtain that. More pleasing ways at that. "He just disappeared!"

"Yeah."

"So what now?"

"Now? Easy babe." I picked up the little feather from the ground and shoved it right in front of her cute face. "We have a clue, we'll see what we'll dig up from it."

"It's just a feather."

"Yeah." Oh, you're doubting in me now? How cute. "But enough to find out something more. We just need the right person to tell us who's feather this is."

"And that would be?"

"I have an idea or two."

Or a dozen of them in fact. All connected to you, babe. But, that's not the part of our little ride, right? Obviously there was only one person around with the smarts in his bubbly head to recognize who's feather this is. Still, since three days have passed either way, a bit of delay wouldn't hurt I guess. And just as if someone up above answered my calls, it began to rain. It was no mere drizzle, but a real downpour. All for the better. Candy people hardly ever liked the notion of water, for obvious reasons. We however, we weren't made from sugar. As we quickly found our way into one of the empty gates with the doors shoot down tightly, we found a spot covered enough to remain somewhat dry. Somewhat is a good term however, as our clothes were quite soaked with all the water. It was hard to tell how I looked, but judging by her gaze, she didn't mind to take a peek or two. Me? Well, what can I say. A bit of water made her usual wear adhere so nicely, that at times I almost had to rub my eyes to figure out if she's already naked, or still wrapped in her blue clothing. Would prefer the first one, obviously. And as we stood in this little dry spot, the drips of rain tapped slowly over the surface.

"It's raining hard. Hopefully Cake is somewhere dry. She hates water."

"There now." I simply shrugged and wrapped my arm around her. To comfort her of course. And only that. It had nothing to do with me wanting to feel her little frame near me. Nope. "We'll find your friend. We just need to unravel how deep the rabbit hole goes and what is this all about..."

"Well..." She blushed a little bit. Or not all that little, as her cheeks turned red. "If you say so. About the unraveling and, um, you know."

For a second there, I pondered, what exactly made her blush. Then, I noticed that my choice of words, considering the fact who I were with was a bit poor. Still, she didn't seem to mind. Why should I? It would seem that this whole deal will be more fun than I thought. One way or another.


	3. Chapter II, Magic? Magical? Typical

**Chapter II, Magic? Magical? Typical**

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We finally managed to get to the right place, despite the pouring rain. Obviously there was only one person boring enough, with enough know how to figure out who's feather it was. The one that will point us to the right direction. In short - the prince. Not that I really enjoyed the notion of asking him for help, still, with Fionna by my side, I figured that this won't be all that painful. Gumball was a rather soft being after all, or should I say, he had a soft spot for her, so when it will be about helping our little bunny over there, I'm sure he will be all happy to cooperate. As we reached the doors of the palace, we knocked a little. No one wanted to open obviously at this insane hour. Well, that was hardly our problem. We simply knocked harder. Or it was just me? Yeah, probably just me. Finally someone shouted on the other side, as we heard loud footsteps. When the doors finally opened, his royal dulness stood before us in his pink dressing-gown. Quite the sight, if someone enjoyed bright colored clowns. We interrupted his beauty sleep it would seem, judging by the look on his face. The girl needed help after all, and he was there to serve it.

"Fionna... oh, hello there. What brings you here at this hour?" He almost smiled, but as soon as he saw me near her, his pink grin quickly faded away. Delightful. "And... you. Should have known. Right that sounds like fun."

And we stood there, just like that. He obviously hardly wanted me to get in. Can't blame him all that much for that single fact – I to would prefer to be alone with the girl as well. Still, hard to break it to you mister pink - I had plans towards this one. And it's a private party.

"So, um, dude?" She decided to ask. Probably for the better. He would never listen to me. "Can we come in or...?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure, right."

Now that's what I call mixed emotions. I do wonder how it would end if it was I who would ask him about that. Probably less pleasing. More fun however, that's for sure. Either way, for her he did an exception. As always. And as we strolled around his fancy whereabouts, I finally showed him the little token that he needed to see.

"We need to know what's that."

"That, would be a feather Marshall." He sighted. The sound of it always irritated me beyond measure. "There, problem solved. I can go to my bed now, yes?" He rolled his eyes and smirked. I knew that smirk. I knew that this little pink think was capable of talking back at times. And now, he apparently saw his opportunity. "Hopefully you're not the one that wants to join me there, huh?"

"Dude." Fionna interrupted. Luckily for him. "It's important. Cake is missing. Whoever did this, is connected to this... well, feather."

"Well, why didn't you say so in the first place! Let's go."

And we moved onwards. We quickly reached his so called lab. I always thought it served only for baking and cooking purposes. Figures. Still, judging by all the flour and other ingredients, guess that's what he used it the most. As he turned on all the useless devices and contraptions, some of them began to shine in bright, pink color. Figures.

"The only thing I'll need to do is to put it into my candy-scope, adjust it's parameters for about twelve percents, which will give us exactly..."

So as you probably figured out, the so called prince isn't the most entertaining being in the land of Aaa. Actually, if there would be a contest for the most dull person in the world, he wouldn't win, oh no. He would be the one that would give the rewards to others as an unbeatable champion. I much preferred to focus on our little blooming flower over there. Actually, why in the Glob's name would I focus on his royal pinkness in the first place? Let's look on what's important. Fionna. She seemed to be bored of his little scientific ramble as well. What could be said, she strove for action, just like me. Perhaps however the action that I had in mind, was a bit different than the action she had in her little cute head. That would be a possibility, yes. As I smiled back to her, a little blush appeared on her cheeks once again. I still noticed that her clothes were far from being dry. It worked for imagination, that's for sure. What was hidden underneath this thin wall of fabric. Wonders, that's what. It was nice to watch at the way it adhered to her body, as every slightest motion moved all the wondrous curves. Still, like previously, I would prefer to see her without them. I wouldn't mind some 'freedom' around her as well. And then, as I would stand behind her and lean towards her precious neck...

"Marshall?" ...and with every slight bite, and with every lick venturing even lower, and lower and when I would finally reach her... "Marshal..." Well. Gumball always had this special ability of his. His very boring essence would sprout beyond his mouth, into the minds of others, pushing aside all the cheerful thoughts to leave one certain notion. Boredom."You could pay attention at least once, you know? At least once..."

"Yeah, yeah..." What. I did payed attention. Not to him however. "So, what do you know?"

"Yeah dude. Found a way to find Cake?"

That pink snake grinned. Oh, so that's what he planed all this time, huh? Impressing the girl with his fancy brain? Well, I know for a fact that it won't work. But he was, like always, welcomed to try. Everyone knew that he will fail. It's not like he had something aside from his so called intellect. Or, well, no, he had muffins as well. Hardly impressive.

"Few things actually. This feather is from something that resonates quite well with some given ingredients. Some call it magic I guess." He looked at it once more. What for, I didn't know. Perhaps he wanted to look more dramatic? More like a drama queen to me. Or, a princess in his case. "I don't know which one however..."

"Hardly helpful then."

"Oh, but it is. It is." He raised his finger once again. Well. Here came yet another lecture... "The thing is, there's not many creatures of so called magical nature within the walls of Candy Kingdom, as you may be aware or..." Blah, blah, blah... Like usual, as always, more words than it needed to be. A simple answer would obviously be enough, but no, he had to go all smarts on us. Luckily I had company this time around. So let's quit the science talk, and let's focus on her once again, as there was much to focus. He did interrupted me after all, didn't he? Well, maybe that's my personal problem. You know, when a hunter catches a gaze on his prey, he cannot stop thinking about it. Yeah. And there were many things I would enjoy doing with my little prey. Wonder if she would bite back. Lick back? I know she would enjoy the quality time, that's for sure. Once the hands of the vampire king linger on you, you don't really want to go back to your boring existance. You won't find thrills like that in the world, oh no. Just a simple catch. Just a simple kiss, all mine. And then, in private, we could..."...therefore, the answer would be simple. Wizard City. Yes."

"Wha... oh, right." ...Whoah. He finished sooner than I expected. No pun intended. "Wizard City. But, wasn't it wizards only?"

"Hm, hm, hm..." He smiled in the most obscure way possible. He obviously hardly had my looks, that's for sure. "Well, did rules ever stopped you?"

"At times they do."

"Oh. Are you afraid that some nut-jobs will spread sparkling dust over your vampire body? Or will you use the 'ghost beat vampire' excuse once again, just on wizards now, huh?"

Now, now, look who grew some backbone after all. Back talking to me like that, now that could lead to several certain issues. Non of them would be pleasing for this little pink thing. Apparently Fionna knew that all too well, as she decided to came in between.

"Well, dudes, hard to break it to you, but either way around, we'll need a wizard to enter."

"Well. You have much luck. One of them is around here." The gum being flicked his fingers almost as if he planned it all along. Maybe it was the case? Nah, he was always too boring to figure out an intrigue like that. "She said that she came to our kingdom to do her research on non magical beings, but between you and me... I think she isn't really all that skilled. And a bit bonked in the head."

"Name, gummy?"

"Danielle."

"Simple enou..."

"Abracadanielle."

"Fancy."

So we had a name of someone that will help us. That's always a nice start. Not that I enjoyed the notion of working with some magical weirdos. That never ended well in the end. But, when magic is involved, what do you do. You just roll with it and hope for the best, that's what you do.

"Aight gummy. Thanks, I guess."

"Now, if you'd need help..." He looked at Fionna with those big puppy eyes of his. Hardly enjoyed that, not one little bit. "I'd be of course happy to..."

"No." You sometimes need to use simple, short words for some. He was one of them. "No thanks."

We went off as soon as we were able to, before he would begin to talk, convince, and what's even worse – before he tried to invite us to one of his parties. Either way, someone from the wizard society was hiding within the walls of the Candy Kingdom? That was something new. Something unusual. If things like that happen, you can almost sense that there's something bigger a brew. And I'm not talking about the pink one's dishes. The home we found was nothing special, just a regular candy hold. There was something unsettling about it however, some weird shimmering seen in the windows. Not that it was frightening, but seeing those kind of things and knowing that a wizard is around, always meant trouble. Not that I had anything against that.

"Knock knock?"

"Think no one's home Marshall."

"And?"

"Well. Time for a girl to act, in a more subtle ways." She tickled me on the chin. I always enjoyed her touch, but careful girl. Too much, and I may touch you back... "Move aside."

She knocked on the door as well in a simple act of courtesy and before I could even blink, she rammed right through it. What can I say? My type of girl. And she just smiled towards me, with that precious little lips of hers. Well, she knew that action turns me on, that's for sure. As we entered inside, it was dark, and I mean really, really, really, really, really dark. Even for my tastes. Almost unnaturally so. Was someone expecting us? That was a possibility, you never know with those weird magical freaks. As we explored the inside, one of us walked directly into a tripwire of sorts. Would love to say it was Fionna, but this time around, I think it was me. And just with that, everything went insane. Colors began to sprout from each and every directions, as little rainbows assaulted us like raveling snakes. Yeah, I know, I know, it sounds silly when you think about it, but have you ever tried to fight your way through a dancing rainbow that wants to bite your head off and hisses at you like a serpent? Yeah, I thought so. So we battled and it was quite the sight. The rainbow snakes simply flew around us and we sliced, we bashed, we cut our way through them. The numerous colors poured through my fingers. It was quite magical, I can tell for a fact. Especially when I thought about the notion that this was probably their blood and guts, just expressed in a more colorful, delightful and charming way. I prefer when they bleed red, but hey, who am I to judge. On the other side, my cute little companion looked exceptionally when she swirled around and cut their slick heads off. As their insides sprouted everywhere around, it was almost as if someone tossed confetti right on her pretty frame. As always, in the center of attention, huh? She always was keen with those kind of tools. I do wonder, how keen would she be in different types of weapons. The ones that are not all that sharp perhaps, but they are quite thrilling and entertaining just as those used in battle. Or perhaps, even a bit more. But, as usual, those types of thoughts should be taken on the side, as all of the rainbow beings faded, with one slim silhouette emerging from the shadows. It was Danielle, I could only assume, and she was hardly looking like someone who could threat us in any possible way. Slim, with a rainbow band and all. Yeah, I kind off saw why the prince would shelter someone like that. She had just as bad taste in clothing as he did. Figures.

"Stay away or I'll... I'll!" She pointed her tiny wand at us. Few more rainbows poured from it, like tiny sparks. Hardly a threat. "Oh... you're not it."

"It?" Fionna asked almost instantly. I had to admit, I was a bit curious as well. "What's it?"

"Oh, you know... you know... the thing that comes and kidnaps things. He's after me now for some reason. I'm hard to catch and kill though! Since I'm slippy and soft..."


	4. Chapter III, Place Full Of Crazies

**Chapter III, Place Full Of Crazies**

* * *

Abracadanielle fulfilled her part of the deal, or rather just lead us to the right place, since there was no real deal to begin with. She just wanted it to be over, so she will be able to hide in her little home and wait for the end. Well, everyone has their own needs, I'm not the one to judge. Too much. The password to this weird place was so obvious, that a three year old would figure it out. Eventually. Wizards rule, huh, what kind of self centered moron came up with that one out? I don't know, I hardly cared and complained about it however since it gave us the easy way in. Obviously, we were undercover. It's a good thing that wizards came in different shapes and forms, as we could go in, simply dressed in the most obscure rags tossed on our back. That, and I had a few vampire tricks up my sleeve. Our plan obviously had some flaws, like the fact that we hardly knew where to go. Danielle only told us about a certain place, where a certain individual lived in, refusing to come in even when I said I'll bite the rainbow off her head. Still, the one we searched for was a hunter, at least she called him that. He was meant to be the one that will lead us to the creature that took Cake. All the better. Either way, simple asking around was out of the picture, since no one liked questions in Wizard City. Especially those that were obvious for some. It was a huge place as well, full of lights even despite the night. Weirdos poured from each and every side on their little bazaar of weirdness, purchasing things that hardly made any sense, for doings that, you guess it, hardly made any sense as well. It would seem it was our lucky day however, as instead of our brave hunter, we found the very one that we seek - the hooded figurine that searched the wizard market for various things, useless things, mostly sentimental junk. As soon as the thing saw us, it hissed loudly, pointing it's long, white, feathery hand right in our direction. Well, someone liked to be vocal, that's for sure. I must say, I thought it'll be rather easy. Catch the wretched thing and squeeze some answers out of it. But then, something weird happened. As this skinny creature got the attention of everyone around, it straightened up and actually spoke, as it began to whistle towards us mockingly.

"Nice try Marshall, nice try. And you too Fionna." A soft, female voice came from within the hood. I could swore that I saw a long, white beak there as well. Either way, that was hardly a thing that I expected. Would bet it all that it was a he. Guess I shouldn't play the betting games in the future, huh? "But, it's wizards only you know? Fools."

Her hands shifted much like I shift my body, and with two huge claps of her wings, she blown off our capes. Uh-oh. Not good. Before we could even try to explain, everyone began to shout, apparently mad for some reason. Can't imagine why. Oh, right. Wizards only. The thing was gone as well, leaving it's robe on the ground, while a white crow-like silhouette was already far away in the sky. It got even worse, after the guards of this weird city showed up, with their eye patches and wands fixated upon us.

"Marshall?" The girl asked me, quite unsure what to do. "What now?"

"Leg it!"

It was obvious - we had to run. Fast. We could probably take some of them out, yeah, but in the middle of this place, that would only summon more, and more, and more. You get the picture. Good thing we were fast, much faster than them, as we ran throughout the alleys that constantly shifted around in a magical matter, eventually founding ourselves right at the top of the tall buildings. This place had little logic and little sense, and we had little time given. So we began to travel from one cornice to another, swirling around various ledges and shelf, tossing away whatever flew into our faces. They were still after us however, despite our agile maneuvers and slick movements, as their beams shoot left and right. The so called wizard police or whatever was their name. Not the things I wanted to encounter, as I've heard a couple of things about their beings. Still, they weren't known for their intellect. And their aim for that matter. Either way, we had to run further. And we had to be quick about it. Or rather her I would say. I simply floated around. And as we swirled once more, bumping into numerous various persons, dodging everything that they tried to cast upon us, just then, I saw the perfect opportunity to loose our little tail. As I grabbed the girl by the hand, I pulled her down into one of the narrow corridors in a puff of black mist around us, hardly seen by anyone, hardly expected by anyone. And they simply missed it it would seem. So we lost them, squeezed in one of the alleyways. We saw numerous figures passing by just like that, still, no one payed attention. Not a single shade looked inside after us. No one cared to check apparently. Or wasn't smart enough to do that, that was also a possibility. Either way, that was a good sign. And we just stood there, frame to frame, face to face. She obviously still tried to catch her breath, me? I was beyond those needs. I'll put the emphasize on those however, as I had others of more fierce matter. You can probably put two and two together, and you could realize that a pressing body of hers wouldn't go unnoticed both in my mind and in other areas, should someone would like to put it in a more subtle matter. A natural course of action I would say, when one with such round feats comes onto you.

"Well dude, you're quite happy from the outcome, huh?"

And she just smiled. Obviously she noticed the, should I say, excitement from my part. It wasn't hard to guess what's in my mind all that time, it wasn't hard to guess it now. That, and the word I just used fitted nicely into this situation. But, guess not only in my mind things were pleasing and appealing, and I weren't the only one that thought about different types of entertainment. Who would have thought. It was she that actually grabbed me way below my back and smirked playfully. Who am I to oppose, I just did the same. The lack of maneuverability only add to the charm of this little situation. Guess she wanted to thank me for the help in advance, as she moved her little lips towards mine. Again, it should be I who initiated in a typical matter, or at least everyone would expect just that. But no, this time it was her tongue that came in first, silencing me in an exceptional matter. There are pleasing scents and tastes in this world, this one however was one of the finest, I must say. And there was quite the passion in both the girl's lips, as well as within the girl's hands, that I can say for a fact. Hardly foreseen it, but enjoyed it non of the less. Obviously, since I act in a rather predictable matter, I also took the opportunity to venture around here and there. Let's just say, that my fingers can go beyond the clutches of fabric pretty fast, especially when they want to reach certain spots. A craftsmanship almost as useful as lock picking, but in this very case – much more pleasurable. And it was as well all about the picking. She was obviously skilled as well, and I'll tell you something – there's nothing better than her soft, warm hands wondering around almost aimlessly, agitating a certain spot, caressing what's needed. Maybe going as far as performing certain movements? Yes. She was such a tease. So were the tips of her little fingers, smudging my pale skin, reaching in places that I thought she'll hesitate to venture into. And then, just like with all teases, this one had to end as she let go, biting my ear while performing her little goodbye. It's a good thing that my wounds mend, otherwise, it would be quite the bite mark. Not that I would oppose much about that.

"And what should I do with that information, huh?"

"Whatever you wish dude."

"So you do lo..."

"Naw." Her grope tightened and she quickly silenced me. Figures. "I do like playing around dude. Don't get things over your head though."

Pleasing things end quickly. Shame. We should continue at some point however, as it only increased my appetite. And a hungry vampire shouldn't be ignored. Especially since he thirsts for something else than blood. And I do crave for her bosoms. For her thighs. And what's beyond them as well... but let's leave it at that for now, as we should focus on the task. Since we lost our tail, richer in some new... experiences, we found the place that Danielle was on about, as we silently lurked through the city. One of many twisted and aberrant homes that were sprouted all around the place. This one was special however, with a leaf emblem on the top of it. The reason why it was special? Well, Danielle told us that it's a homage of a real hunter. The one that knows his job well, and furthermore – can point us towards the direction of our feathered prey as well as the place it came from. Our little magical friend also told us that this one that hardly cared if we're wizards or not. He simply enjoyed the hunt. Now that's the notion I like, straight and to the point. We walked in silently, wedging our every step, but the moment we entered, an arrow landed right before our legs. Well, the man in charge liked to greet his guests in a particular way it would seem.

"You two. What's your deal here?"

He simply asked, not really revealing himself. A man of shadows. Well, we had something in common, that's for sure.

"I asked once, won't ask again."

It was one of those kind of people that you need to impress, that you need to make an impact on before actually talking business. I met many of them in my life, which isn't really all that hard when you live as long as me. Still, all I had to do was to catch the next arrow, just to show that we're not messing nor joking around. And it obviously worked, as the man himself emerged from the shades, with his antlers sticking out from his hood in quite the silly way. Liked the mask though. At least the green color add some style to it. Or was it the beard made of leaves? Don't know.

"Impressive."

"So I'm told... oh, you mean the arrow? Yeah, that too."

I knew he was a man of few words, so without further delay, I gave him what little we had. He looked at it calmly, smudging over the fluffy surface. In his eyes, I could already see that he figured it all out. It's nice to see a professional at times. He hardly needed all the equipment, all the lab work, all the nifty things to know his business.

"So. Talk mister hunter."

"That's easy. For whom it belongs that is. Won't be easy to track it. And kill it, that's for sure."

"Now, now, green dude." Fionna interrupted him almost instantly. Strange, she never interrupted me, huh? "We're not really about killing it. I just want my friend back."

"Your friend? Oh, she got your friend?" Something told me that the way he asked about it would only indicate more trouble. "Was it a good friend?"

"Yeah, family basically, why?"

"My condolences then. The one you seek will use your friend for his goal. And there won't be much left of her afterward." My companion got quite upset. Troubling note. First of all, I don't really like when she's upset. Secondly, well, I don't really like failing at my job. "If you want to do something about it however, I'd suggest hurrying up."

"Where is that guy you talk about?"

That question obviously hit him somewhere deep within his green heart. I were good at asking things that got straight to the point, told you that before. I guess it somewhat his pride, since by the share look on his face, I knew exactly what his response is going to be.

"I don't know. If I knew, I'd track him down. Feel free to venture into his old home however, before he was expelled from the wizard community." He paused almost as if he considered to tell us something more. Still, another home search? Great. Like we haven't had those already. "Oh, and one more thing."

"Yeah?"

"Don't underestimate both him, and his familiar." Oh? Our little hunter has some respect to his prey? Let's hear it then. "Especially the familiar. Especially her. You know how rare white crows are? That's nothing compared to a white mixture of a crow and a rabbit."

* * *

**Hopefully you enjoy the story so far! I know I enjoy writing it, it's something new for me and it basically goes by itself, hence the fast updates lately. I will obviously slow down a little soon, but, while it lasts, hopefully it entertains you! As usual, feedback and whatnot much appreciated. **


	5. Chapter IV, Menacing Madman's Mansion

**Chapter IV, Menacing Madman's Mansion**

* * *

So we came inside the sorcerer's home. Well, if you'd ask someone in Aaa about going into a place that was once inhabited by a guy that was hardly sane, and a wizard at that, he would told you that you're making a death wish for yourself. Luckily for me, I were already dead, not much to loose then, right? We hardly knew about the guy, being honest, aside from the fact that his name started on the same letter as mine. That was, as they say, something. The mansion was in a mess either way around, almost as if someone moved from it in a rather quick matter. Things were scattered around the place, as if the owner hardly cared if somebody will find anything of value. Or perhaps he wanted us to find something? You never know with the freaks in this place. Never. And this guy was no exception. I mean, I lied a little bit. I knew something more about him. Had a run in with him long time ago. He was without his precious pet those days however. It was about a little token I've lost. Something about a douche ex, relationship issues, no biggie. Everyone had those in his life. And afterlife. Still, I don't really remember his name. Figures, I never do it with people that hardly matter for me in the long run. Guess it would make things easier now. All I could remember, was that he dipped into things hardly anyone should. And that made him a dangerous adversary. Well, at least a little more so than the others. By the way – adversary, fun word. Take that pink butt, I know my vocabulary as well as you do.

"So what we're exactly after dude?" My lovable companion asked, as she searched around crumbled shelf. "Anything in particular?"

"Things. Various things. Clues and whatnot."

"I know that dude but..."

"It's a wizard we're dealing here. There will be something obvious around." I tried to sound as smart as possible. "Just hidden in a less obvious matter."

Fionna just shrugged and went back to shuffling around the place. I did the same. There were numerous notes that the one that inhabited this place left behind, still, there was nothing aside from nonsense on them. Some recipes, some long lost poems. Not his mind you. Apparently the guy really enjoyed things that were somewhat sentimental to others. The thing would be, why he would need so many of them? And why he left most behind? I mean, I could clearly see it was a part of some kind off bigger scheme. The one that will end bad for someone. You don't just collect those kind of things with the sheer passion for collecting them. Eventually we were done with the bottom floor and found nothing of value. At least for us. There was only one way around – the stairs, strangely covered in darkness. Almost as if something lurked within there. It was a wizard home after all. Traps were to be expected.

"This looks kinda menacing." She simply shrugged. "A trap, most likely."

"It's always that way."

"Nothing against that." She smirked in the most delightful of ways. Plus, it was towards me. Always a great thing to consider. "As long as you'll keep it entertaining."

I can do just that, that's for sure babe. Either way, as we took our first step, it was all too obvious that something was about to happen. And just with that notion, a demon appeared. Yeah, just like that, with some fire surrounding it's presence. I were quite found of demons you see. That one was a bit higher on the hierarchy in it's place. The place from where it spawned. The place where I spawned from at some point. Sadly, that very fact, and my family ties, never gave me any influence over those kind of creatures. Pity, I know, still, to change that I would had to become the ruler of my family dump. And boy, I never wanted that. The fiend hardly hesitated as well, charging at us with its claws right before him. It was one of those typical hell spawns, with bat wings, horns and all. One of the blood demons. Powerful, if a bit stupid. He obviously couldn't stop himself from muttering numerous incantations, that hardly worked in this plane, or more specific – in this mansion. He was meant to protect, not cast spells around. His heavy paw almost shred my cheek meat, as I jumped back. Fionna on the other hand never hesitated to brawl a little bit, as her sword went straight between the claws, parrying it's moves. I preferred more finesse matters, swirling around his neck and landing on his back, pounding his nape with numerous hits.

"Why don't you just..."

Wait, a demon. Of course! Every demon is in the end bound to Nightosphere one way or another. The only thing one needs to do, is to send him back. What was it again? Maloso vobi... no, wait, wait, wrong one, that would actually summon something. Something I don't really want to met up with. Another time, another story. On mother's day perhaps. Meanwhile, the thing tried to slice me once again, as his hand reached for my precious self, tangled around his back. A futile attempt, still, if we wouldn't think fast, someone could get hurt. Or even killed. Killed again in my case.

"Kee Oth Rama Subcinericius!"

I shouted when I leaned right towards his demonic ear. I'm quite sure that was the one I was meant to use, still, nothing happened. Now that was something that I hardly predicted. Thought a simple formula like that would be enough. Think Marshall, think, I pondered to myself. Obviously a strong magic kept him around here, obviously it was strong enough to prevent him from being banished to his realm. But wait. Everything here was sentimental. Everything. And the fiend obviously had some kind of bound to this place. He was a blood demon after all, the ones you bind to swords or other weird things with their, well, blood. It was hard to think when he slashed his way around with his pointy claws, as he again tried to toss me off his back. When someone wants to rip of your face, you're not at your best, I can tell you that for a fact. Fionna obviously tried to impale the being on her sword while he did that. Her stabs hit the spot numerous times, but just like with every demonic being, the physical aspect of their bodies hardly mattered to them, as it mended in a matter of seconds. It gave me enough time however to once again scope the place. The girl seemed to realized just that, as she tried to gain the monster's attention in full. What did I tell you? She was a smart sort. It gave me needed time, as I jumped from the creature's back. What thing in a place like that, could contain a demon of this sort. Painting of something out of hell? Naw, too obvious. This weird skull on the shelf, partially rotten, partially made from silver? Naw, too menacing. The hatched that hanged right above the fireplace, with a dark aura surrounding it? Of course not. Hardly suspicious flower pot. Bingo, that was the right call. As I reached my hand inside, I found exactly what I wanted to – a vial of demon's blood. All what was left to do, was to toss the thing right into the fiend, and shout out the incantation once again. So I did just that, obviously.

"Kee Oth Rama Subcinericius!"

The demon stopped right where it stood, as his body began to slowly burn away. Fionna wouldn't be herself if she didn't bash him one more time in the face, as this time, the results of her bash were quite visible, sprouting ashes in each and every direction. Well, and they say I'm ill tempered. Either way around, we got rid of the nuisance on our way. One could only assume there's more to come upstairs, still, you never know. Binding a demon to your will just like that takes some effort. Perhaps the owner of this place was just as lazy as I am and stopped after that? Would love to hear that's the case. The top floor of this mansion was in even worse shape, if that was even possible. Chunks of wood and furniture lied everywhere, at times sunken in huge gaps and holes. How long this place stood empty again? It would seem as if the years has passed since someone actually laid his foot, or other body part, in this certain place. The path was rather clear, since only one room left. Convenient, I must say. As we reached the door frame, yet another trap sprouted, with numerous sharp objects flying right at our direction. Well, the wizard lacked finesse it would seem. Demons and flying knives? At least he could show us some originality. Obviously I caught the girl by her waist and swirled around, dodging each and every thing that came in our way. She could do it on her own perhaps, still, the very notion that I did that for her was thrilling to me. To her as well it would seem, judging by her smirk.

"Enjoying yourself Marshall?"

"Quite."

Of course I were enjoying myself. Who wouldn't? With a body like that in your hands, the world is yours for the taking. And not only the world mind you. Still, when the steel garbage stopped it's course eventually, we were free to go. This room looked tad different. Almost like a shrine made towards someone. Some bony presence. A female of sorts, with a skull on her face. At least that's what was on the painting above it all. If I could only remember who was that exactly. Something ancient that roamed here once, probably. The way that Fionna gasped however, would indicate that there was something more to it. To me? Well, a skeleton in a dress is a skeleton in a dress. That, and the owner of this place hardly respected the being it would seem, as numerous daggers were still driven deep within the fabric. Was he crazy for her, or because of her? Both ways, funny notion. But nah, I'm joking. Obviously I knew who was the one on the painting. Everyone in Aaa knew that, one way or another. Some forgot. Some did not.

"That is..."

"I know."

"But why..."

"That, I don't know."

So we searched around. Each and every corner. The painting almost glared at us from above, judging our every move. It could be considered quite, I don't know, unsettling? I hardly enjoy the notion of other dead things looking at me. Especially those that are rotten a little bit too much. Either way, eventually I found an old, dusty book. Handwritten one at that. Looks like someone was so keen on getting others sentimental junk, that he forgot about his own. A journal, how cute. As I searched around each and every page, I finally found what I needed to know. The last registry.

"Think that's what we need."

"What does it say?"

"Well..." I coughed a couple of times and began to read. "Garbage. All garbage. Sentimental crap, hardly important to anyone. Toys, poems, items, no one would give their lives for that. No one would kill for that. Need something more, something fresh. Fools around began to sniff however. Their noses came far too close last time." I chuckled a little bit. I could agree with him on that one. "I need a different place. If I were to make it happen, if I were to spawn the most powerful one in Aaa, if I'm to obtain my reward, I need a different place. Far from here. Far from the pesky eyes. Good thing I have my familiar by my side. She makes it far easier. She fills all the gaps I miss." I sensed that there something more between the two. Or, maybe that's just the rotting furniture around. One of the two. "We're onto something however. She will be brought back. She will be free. And I will gain more than anyone in the city of fools. Something beyond sheer power. But where to go. Forest provided to be futile on it's own, even if it was called spooky, for some reason. It never served it's purpose. It never scared anyone." Agreed. Getting there was a pain in the butt. Hardly scary however. "Perhaps I should try sand this time around. Yes, I like that. Sun and sand equals death. Just my kind of thing." I took a deep breath. "And, it ends here."

"So... it would seem that it's something bigger this time around?"

"Looks like it babe. Looks like it."


	6. Chapter V, A Ride To Nowhere

**Chapter V, A Ride To Nowhere**

* * *

So it was rather obvious where to go. Still, our goal was quite far from our current location, that's for sure. Can't say I were all that fund of the amounts of sand on our way, as deserts equals heat. And heat, as you may be aware, equals a lot of sun. Not my kind of surrounding. An excuse to wear a hat however. Still, what else was there to say? Should we wanted to save the little fleabag, we had to hurry. And saving that cat was a vital component in order to obtain the prize. Obviously. As we ran from the city of freaks, almost instantly on the outskirts of this weird place, the prince himself greeted us, mounting his black stead. Him again, great, that was always a fantastic sign. I missed being bored to death by someone royal. The irony would be, that I'm already dead.

"Hello there." He flicked his hand in the most poetic of matters. Charming. Almost as if he wanted to lecture us at the very beginning. "I figured you two could use a little help." As always, he was arrogant, annoying and way too bright. That, and he always tend to show up in times when he was needed the least. There's always a slight chance of course, that this one time he'll have something interesting to say. Doubtful however. "And I expect you two are in a little hurry, therefore..."

"Yeah. Much. Now if you'll excuse us..."

"Now, now. There's no need for such rush. I've asked around, and I've also found out where are you heading. Not the brightest to go there just... well... like that."

"Have a better idea?"

"Of course." He pat his stead on the head. Guess by all the time he spends alone he's used to that. "I always have a better idea than you Marshall."

"So, elaborate on it?"

"Right. So, I figured that you will need some kind of help and all, and..." I know the guy gets a lot of hate from me, still, there was something odd about him appearing here just like that. Awfully odd. "...therefore, I know how to get there faster. Choose Goose would be your answer, since she leads the caravan out there and..."

"Aight, if that's all, time to go." With a person like that, you need to end fast, before he'll spawn more words. "Thanks pink butt."

"But why don't..." I never listened to him all that much. I was too busy smirking to the girl I guess. "...we do it together like old times, you know, adventuring and...

We left him almost instantly. He was hardly needed, his words were hardly needed, and as you could guess by now, his presence was hardly needed as well. That, and if he would start talking even further, we would waste at least an hour. Gumball gave us the information we needed however, as we now knew the person who will be responsible for taking us to our destination. She usually handled one of the crams in the middle of the city, yet now, she was preparing for something grander, as she sat outside and counted her numerous coins. She was one of those rather unstable, as her swirling, bird eyes gazed everywhere around, mostly fixating at the cash before her. Her clothes also looked like a mixture of colorful rags. A rather silly sight to say the least.

"So..." I approached her with the usual mater. For some reason, the likes of her always were somewhat... problematic. "...I won't take much time. You sort like it straightforward, huh? We need to get to the..."

"Ah, you want, what you want, yes, that is true. Still, nothing is there for me to go for that lure."

"Listen, we're in a bit of a rush here. The girl needs her friend back and..."

"Friends are worth something as well, what, oh what, can you please tell?"

The goose remained still, as her swirling, crossed eyes were somewhat fixated upon me. Or was it on me? They could be fixated upon Fionna, nearby lamp or the ceiling for all I knew. My companion, seeing as my efforts are rather futile decided to help me out a little bit, as she tapped me on the shoulder. We all need aid at times I guess. Sometimes it's hard for me to admit that..

"Let me try."

"Aight babe." I hardly considered her to be all that keen with words. Still, since I failed, what was there to loose? "Whatever."

There was some certainty in her. Well, actually, there always was some certainty in that little sweet delightful girl. That spark in her eyes that always lingered around, ready for all the unexpected things. And those that were expected, but hardly planed. Good to know in the future I would assume.

"You are a busy woman, aren't you goose?"

"Of course I am since coin only flow, when you do something here and now."

"A woman like you don't really like delays don't you?"

"Delays for business, yes, are bad, there's nothing calm, there's nothing rad."

"So let's strike a deal, shall we?"

"My ears are made for deals you see, so speak quick about your fee."

"It's a long road. And we just want to get there. You on the other hand could use a free guards." My companion swirled her sword around inches before the bird's beak. The goose looked quite unamused, yet in it's swirly eyes, I could clearly see that she was impressed. So were I for that matter. "And we're the best you'll find.

"To hire things, takes coin away. I do like when my coin shall stay..."

The bird apparently thought about it deeply. Well, I knew the answer before she did just that. The likes of her always thought about one thing. Earnings and profits. When they were present, it was easy to convince them about everything. The likes of her would even sell her relatives, if the price was good enough. And savings? Now, that was a grand word as well. Savings would mean spending less. Savings would mean more coin for her.

"A deal is made, miss bunny girl, my carts are there for you to swirl."

I'll spare you the details of how we found ourselves on her little caravan, as there was nothing more than a boring check of goods, check of her pets, check of many things that hardly mattered. The more important thing would be that eventually we finally set off. A ride towards badlands would be one of the things which should be quite memorable. That's the way I would love to remember it, but what's memorable in bunch of sand and dust with the occasional rocks growing from the sea of nothing? Not much I would say. The ride itself was quite a sight however, for someone who likes and enjoyed things that look quite, should I say, unusual. Numerous, colorful carts pulled by a giant ostriches. Gigantic masses of feather. Whatever works I guess. I bet they were cheaper than other forms of transport. Seeing as they lived on seeds, I had no doubts about that. Our little leader sat in the main cart, calculating odds and coins, strictly thinking about time that is passing, how much she will gain and how much she will loose. Silly goose...

It's taking longer than I expected. I thought that with Marshall on my side, it will end with a blast. Not a single blast mind you. Bah, should have know better. Now Cake is in the hands of some weird wizard guy that wants to... I don't even know what. Hopefully she's alright. I mean, Cake is tough, but even she has her, well, stretch limit. And that guy... The hunter dude said he's quite dangerous. Well, we'll see about that, when my feet will land on his butt. People just shouldn't kidnap other people. Hm, the prince would probably agree with me on that. Well, at least I have my pale dude around. He is a nice company, I guess. I mean, I know he would probably enjoy more than a simple kiss here and there, but hey, we all should be patient, he should be as well. I dunno, at times I think it's even more fun to toy with him like that. He probably thinks he's in control of each and every situation. There are some cases when that's true, other times, well, let's say that he likes to act tough, and nothing aside from that.

"What's on your mind babe?"

He asked. Was he concerned? I knew him pretty well, and no, concern isn't the thing that usually boggles his mind. I could only imagine, that most of the time, his thoughts are occupied in different matters. I can tell that especially by the way he looks at my chest. Looks? No, more like stares. And since the road was quite bumpy, this dude here had quite the show apparently. There are moments that he's... quite annoying. He could learn a manner or two from the prince.

"Cake, mostly."

"As if, you're hungry?"

"Not funny dude."

I don't get him at times. He's intelligent, smart, cunning and full of things that you could really appreciate. And other times, he acts like a dumb spoiled brat. Some could say that's the part of the pale dude's charm, still, I would prefer if he was less of a jackass. But, as usual, after those words came a different face, more soothing and playful. He likes to change his moods, to confuse people he says. If I could tell you what I think, I would probably said he does that to hide something. Maybe the fact how shallow he is? Never mind. As usual, the dude came closer, seeing my, how to put it, fragile state as an invitation. He couldn't be more wrong.

"Perhaps I could ease your mind for a little while..."

He was never the one that hesitated, oh no. For that matter, we matched. Kind off. He also disliked the usage of words when those moments came and there were non this time around. We obviously had those little game of ours, nothing really serious, at least from my part. Knowing him, nothing all too serious as well, still, you never know. It would surprise me greatly if it were otherwise. Not that I think that this dude over here is enjoying any kind of commitment. As he grabbed my waist and pushed his head over my shoulder, he began to smudge his lips all over my neck. Can't say I didn't enjoyed that, still, the repetitive strive of this certain body part got tiresome after the numerous times he attempted to bite me right there to prove his point.

"I'm not really in mood for games Marshall..."

I said. There was some truth behind those words. I weren't in the mood for child play. I were in the mood for something more. Did the vampire got his little hint? Perhaps a little bit, as he began to use his brain. And his tongue. There's something about the touch he made, something about the saliva on my skin, something about how warm he can be. Little things. But little things are always coming up towards something bigger. Grander. And he used that knowledge well. He knew that in order to soften me up, he needs to work his way through. And, what can I say, he did that exceptionally, as he came towards my ear, doing pretty much the same. There was something arousing about his breath, even if it was somewhat cold, in opposite to his tongue.

"...or maybe I am..."

As usual, every bit of words that I threw towards him aroused him even further. Tricks and games. And he always said he's the best at them. Never mind, hard to focus on minor details when someone's lips are pressing towards your neck again and again, reaching his main course. Well, I could toy with him a little. I know how he acts when he doesn't get what he wants instantly. He tries harder, and harder, putting more and more effort into it. And I do like when he puts... effort that is, sorry about that. So, as he tried to reach my mouth, as he struggled to at least lick the tip of my lips, my head constantly escaped his clutch. That only made him more and more furious, as he eventually pinned me to one spot. He finally had a good aim at what he wanted to achieve, as he got closer and closer. His matted, black hair almost glittered in the vague light. And just as our little ride was meant to detour on such pleasing courses, just as we were meant to get somewhere in our little chat, we heard screams outside.

"Danger upcoming, I see it clear! Go forth my minions, wash away my fear!"

Typical. Just when a girl is having her share of fun, someone comes by to end it all. Other time maybe. For now, toying with the boy is entertaining on it's own. As we ran from the cart, we saw the white silhouette staying right in the middle of the road, as one of the carts was smashed to pieces. So, she finally came out from her hideout? Can't wait to have a 'chat' with her. Although I had to say, her feathers looked rather beautiful. Shame I were about to pick them, one by one.

"You're beginning a journey into a place you shouldn't." Her voice was almost mesmerizing. Like a... like a... I don't know, I'm not good with words. Nice melody, alright? As the thing flapped it's wings in quite the majestic matter, the sand almost swirled around it's white plumage. If it wasn't for the fact that thins thing kidnapped Cake, I would be in awe. "And don't get me wrong. Nothing personal. But a message must be sent..."


	7. Chapter VI, To See Without Eyes

**Chapter VI, To See Without Eyes**

And she stood there, just gazing at both me and the dude. She knew that one of us will eventually come forth to confront her. Well, Marshall was always more calm about those kind of thins. Me? I could charge right at her without much needed questions and squeeze everything what I needed from her long white beak. Subtlety? What's that? Still, the dude looked at me, almost as if he knew what's in my head and rose his hand just a little bit. I nodded, and waited patiently. The problem was, that the bird knew this game all to well and hardly moved an inch. Just her feathers waved in the wind. They looked kind off nice, I admit. I bet they would stuff a pillow nicely as well. And finally, she spoke again.

"So, you want to stare at me like that? A tomboy and a half fiend with family issues, amusing." She waved her wings. I see what she tried to do. Mock us huh? Fancy. There was something in her eyes however. Yes, I could clearly see that. Something cunning. I don't like when someone like that stands against me. Always problematic. "I told you I have a message for you. Or an offer even. You can turn around. Save yourself the time. Neglect the cat."

"We obviously won't do that you freak."

"Was hoping you'd say that." I don't know if birds are capable of smiling. If they are – she did just that. "Or rather – I knew you will." She raised one of her legs up in the air, looking kind off like a heron, only a bit more white. And I bet, much more dangerous. "So, as they say, have at thee."

And she began her dance. How she moved! Never saw something like that, she was fast, she was agile, her hits were numerous and deadly. One after another, blow after blow! I took notice that her feathers were extremely sharp at their ends, almost as if she had numerous daggers at her disposal. Not a pleasing notion, especially if she managed to hit someone with it. We both avoided her swirls, trying to find the way to do something about her movement. Her little whirlwind however was hard to stop, and giving that the sun shined upon us with all it's might, Marshall needed to contain himself mostly in the shades that surrounded us. Let's just say his little hat wasn't enough most of the time. Think Fionna, think. A whirlwind, something sharp, how to stop it. Well, I don't have the brain of the ruler of Candy Kingdom, still, I know a thing or two. And I'm exceptional in breaking things, that's for sure! And what's better in breaking a moving wheel, almost like a moving cog, if not sticking a stick right in the middle of it? So I did just that, and just like you could imagine, the stick was my sword. But you probably figured that one out, right? She stopped her swirling alright, as she made few screeches, waving her wings around. The impact was enough for me to fall back. Luckily, there was someone there to catch me in his arms.

"Can't get enough of me, huh?"

"Very funny."

Meanwhile, the sword was still clutched in between her feathers. It would seem that it made quite the hit, as some blood began to pour on her white feathers. Shame really, but she was the one asking for it. She tried to pull it out, but apparently it was driven too hard into her flesh. And it all went downhill for her from this point onwards. Well, when you have a swords sticking out of your hand, that's a thing you would expect to happen, huh? Either way, when she was out of her balance, hitting her wasn't an issue anymore. So what if I had to use my hands once in a while, not like it'll hurt me or such. Unlike her. And as she received numerous punches from both me and Marshall, I finally snatched my sword from her arm, as I kicked her in the stomach, knocking it on the ground. It opened it's beak, to spew out more words no doubt.

"So you two want to go forth, into a place you don't understand?" The thing said, despite having my blade on it's throat. She was bald, I'll give her this much. "Into a place that will greet you with death and death only? Who's host have plans way beyond your comprehension?" Her beak moved faster and faster. I hardly liked the look of that. I admit, letting my guard like that, not the best of ideas. "So be it. I will await you there. So will my master."

She did the thing I should expect miles away. It was so obvious, ugh! Her feathers and sand on the ground, a perfect distraction. She simply swooped her wings, creating a miniature sandstorm. Or rather, a cloud of dust. I like to sound dramatic at times, you know? Either way, she made that move a couple of times, and before we even knew it, she was long gone. The only pleasing notion would be that some of the grains surely got in between her feathers. It will probably take a while before she'll menage to pick each and every single one of them. And that's something. The caravan survived either way, mostly intact. The goose managed to calculate the odds and profits, seeing that if we wouldn't showed up in the first place, the outcome would probably differ. She didn't had to know the fact that the creature was after us specifically, nope. After some time, counted in days perhaps even, we reached one of many small towns. I would say it was a city, but the previous word was somewhat more fitting. It was hard to distinct it from all the rocks in the sand, it was this uninspiring. The question remained however – what now. We were in one of many shelters this place had to offer, yet there was just one minor detail – finding the mansion of the madman in charge, right in the middle of this desert. What else could be done? We asked around, but hardly any goblin knew what exactly we're talking about. 'A wizard? Here? We're goblins, we no wizards' they said. So the madman hid better than we expected. Or others simply hardly cared. Or maybe there was something more to it? I don't know. And just as we were about to wander off into the sandy dunes before us, counting mostly on our luck, someone whispered from one of the goblin-made alleys.

"Psh. You two don't 'look' like goblins to me." A hoarse, female voice said. That obviously caught our attention almost instantly. "You are looking for the one that collects tokens that bare sentiments. Yes. I could show it the way, but I'm afraid... He took my eyes."

She finally came closer. She was a goblin like the others, but her look varied. Her long, gray hair were set loose, almost tangling around her body. Her skin was green, more so than her brethren, almost unnaturally so. Not judging. She did missed her eyes however, as her eye sockets lied empty. The problem was, that the two eyeballs just dangled around her head, almost gazing at us. I knew that wasn't the case, still, it was somewhat creepy.

"But your eye..."

"Yeah, he's truly despicable like that." Marshall silenced me almost instantly. "Can you take us to him?"

"Hm..."

"We can pay you if needed to..."

"Xergia can. And will do it for free, out of her good will, yes. And maybe, just maybe, you'll find her eyes! Oh yes!"

We came into the alley after her, figuring that she's harmless as it stands. And even if not, even if she still enjoyed tormenting others um... lower parts, how much more of a threat she could be compared to our white friend with a lot of feathers, huh? Either way, she remained silent, bumping her stick into numerous places just to see if the road she's leading us is the right one. Eventually we reached the outskirts of this little town where her shack lied. It looked almost as if was made from dirt, sand and mud. And I thought that the goblins little 'city' was unimpressive. Guess I were wrong, huh?

"So..." Marshall couldn't help but ask. "...how exactly will you lead us when you're kind off... um."

"I know I'm blind boy!" She screeched at him, as he made a step back. Funny thing to watch. "There are different ways however. Visions!"

She let me inside to her little shack. It smelled rather nice. Why I noticed that in the first place? Well, if it looked like that, I expected far less pleasing stench. Not that I were complaining for this turn of events, as I would hardly enjoy it if it were the other way around. The dude on the other hand constantly tried to peek inside, as he finally asked.

"And what about..."

"A-a." The goblin blocked the dude's path with her stick. "Those that came from the sphere of night, cannot see things that I'm about to show. Wait here patiently. I'm sure the girl will have a lot to tell you afterward."

Marshall was quite displeased obviously, still, due to his rather unusual condition, you know, being vampire and all, he apparently was immune to any kind of visions she was meant to toss onto me. At least that's what she said, who were I to question her competence? Either way, harsh. For him. As we entered her little sanctuary, she led me to a room in which I were to be left alone. It reminded me somewhat of a cocoon, made out of all the colorful fabrics and silks. Quite soft. Could figure a couple of other ways to use it I guess. With someone for that matter.

"Off with your bindings." She said, as the eyes in her hair almost swirled me inside out. I knew they were, as they say, out of service, but still they were quite creepy.. "For you to understand what you're up against."

"What?"

"You need to set your mind straight."

"What's the purpose of thi..."

"For you to understand!" She bonked me on the head with her stick. "No need to argue with me. I cannot show you the way! Because I lack my eyes! So you need to 'see' the world the way I see! Visions!"

She left and closed the doors. And then, just like that and without any kind of warnings, smoke began to pour from each and every possible angle. A choking smoke. A smoke that was almost as thick as a mist. So those were her so called visions huh? I could swore this looked more like an attempt on my life, if I were to judge myself. And as I tried to catch onto the linen clothes, eventually my frame and my mind went into two separate directions. I'm sure my thoughts had their share of fun. I do wonder was it the same case with my body. Regardless, numerous colors swirled before my eyes, overwhelming me with their brightness. They seemed to melt into one gooey, shambling mass, almost as if someone melted a rainbow right before my eyes and made a river out of it. Quite the sight. Good thing that my stomach was left someplace else. Other way around, there could be some problems. Everything was blurry, and a pathway to nowhere appeared before me, almost teasing me in a way. The choice was obvious – to follow it further on. To find what's on the very end. As I walked this narrow corridor, numerous images appeared on each side. I saw myself, I saw Marshall as well. We were tangled in positions beyond imaginings. Should have tried that at some point probably. Then Cake, she just waved at me from a distance. It's been a while since I saw her. Hope she was alright. And then, other kind of things appeared. There was the prince, flying on his stead, numerous other people that I knew, and more that I hardly recalled. Two girls of different colors, tangled in the distance and eventually, at the end of my little journey, myself again. This time around, it was a he however. Before I could react, he stuck out his tongue and bonked me in the head. As I opened my eyes, I were at the desert yet again, this time around however, I moved fast, almost as if I were flying. Or maybe I were? The path that I were one, was scribing right into my head, each rock, each mountain, each sculpture sunken in sand. And at the end, at the very end of this weird flight, I saw a house, no, a mansion. So that was our goal, and there was the one that held Cake captive. I needed to venture inside obviously, visions or not. And there was... nothing? Just a void, a void full of emptiness and shades. But there was one in particular that grabbed my attention. He just gazed at me with his eyes. Or were they eyes? They looked like two shining lightbulbs.

"Ah, it's you. Expected you a bit later, still..." The two dots swirled me inside out, as the shape began to form hands from within the shadows. "Yes, you will do nicely. You will do perfectly... you want your cat, don't you? Come, come take your cat..."

And I opened my eyes. The first thing I saw was Marshall, crouched above me, apparently waiting for me to wake up. How kind of him. Then I remembered everything I saw, every passing moment, every minor detail. I remembered it so hard that my head began to hurt.

"HewantstouseCakeandotherthingstorestorebackthedea doneandthen..."

"Whoah, whoah, whoah babe. Again, but slow this time around."

After I told him everything, we rushed outside almost instantly. Since we had the idea where Cake was, and since we had no time to loose, we simply exchanged some pleasantries with our host, too occupied with getting right on our track. Shame really, since we hardly even noticed that she had her eyes in the right place this time around, as she smiled menacingly. Obviously we were too busy with different things to notice that. That, and a sack of coin in her hands. Apparently however, it was all according to plan. Shame, it wasn't ours.


	8. Chapter VII, Change Of Places And Paces

**Chapter VII, Change Of Places And Paces**

* * *

Given the directions, it wasn't long before we found ourselves right at the spot. Getting here was quite tricky, as deserts bare many surprises within the clutches of their grains. Nothing too hard for the duo like us however, as the various dune beasts were nothing but a sparring at best. Even the giant scorpions that for some reasons wanted to sting us badly. Well, my sword can sting as well. And in the end, before us stood a mansion made out of sand, right in the middle of those empty dunes. It was quite the sight actually, as the magic poured from within the walls, from within each and every crack. It was apparently used to empower this building. But what do I know, I hardly care about wizards stuff. That, and I were just interested in getting inside, grabbing Cake and in the end - getting out as fast as possible. If along the way some butts will require kicking, that's all for the better. One way or another, there was quite dark inside, but come to think of it, we kind off expected it to be just like that. Weirdos always liked to live in total, pitch blacked void. Wonder if they did that to avoid their own reflection in the mirror in all that darkness. Perhaps that was the case. Guess if I were as ugly as them, I would do the same. The sand corridors quickly led us towards the main hall, in which a cage stood. No contraptions, no monsters, no alerts along the way? Bit too easy. Either way, inside said cage I saw Cake. It was a trap obviously this time around, as something was bound to happened as soon as anyone would came near. Still, we figured that since we dealt with the sorcerer's minion once, we could do it again easily. Risks are meant to be taken, one way or another. As we took a step closer, Cake clearly wanted to say something to us, still, the cage apparently hardly let out any kind of sound from the inside. Not that it was hard to guess what exactly she wanted to say, as we clearly expected the main host to come. Needless to say, we weren't disappointed by his predictability.

"I anticipated you, but you obviously knew that." The shadowy figurine emerged from within the shadows. How dramatic. Why they always had to be like that? What was next? He'll reveal that he's, in fact, bad? And if so, should we play along and pretend that we're shocked? "As planned, the cat means a lot to you. And you came, exactly as expected. Everything is where it should be, yes. Perfect."

"Who are you anyway, freak?"

"I... am Majarr. Double r, since the likes of you tend to forget about it. And your friend here should know me. Why? Isn't it obvious... Or... is it."

He finally revealed himself from within the shades. Well, my theory was proven right, as looking at him, he really was quite the ugly sort. His matted beard swirled almost to his waist, with numerous beads raveled around it. His clothing could use some style as well, as typical, gray rags were hardly amusing. The thing on his head was however was quite entertaining. It looked like a skull of a dead animal, just added there for a good measure, as it's empty eye sockets served as another pair of eyes, judging by the lights that were lit inside. There were even more shining objects attached to the horns on each side of said skull, as well as to his long, tangled hair. He looked like a wizard alright, though he wasn't all that old I guess. Too bad, that would at least be some kind of explanation for his yellow teeth. And his repulsive face.

"The boy was expected to come as well, so all part of the plan." He clapped his hands. Why all the bad guys enjoyed those theatrical poses? Beats me. And I will beat him. "Sweet heart?" The white crow passed him a huge staff, carved in wood. It had yet another animal skull right on it's tip. Guess he liked them bit too much. Small sparks of energy poured from it's surface. So, there shall be magic huh? Fine, I do like magic at times. "Obviously your last encounter with my pet ended the way I predicted as well. If I were proven wrong, well, you wouldn't be suitable enough then. And that would be shameful."

"What you're blabbing about?"

"In due time, my dear. In due time." He pointed his staff at us. "Sweet heart? Fetch."

The beast behind him almost instantly rushed towards us once again. Well, like I said, we managed to defeat her once, now shouldn't be a problem as well. Still, this time she moved in a different matter. She almost ignored me, going straight for Marshall, aiming her many sharp feathers right at him. Why was that? I had no idea, at least until the wizard showed up right in front of my face, as he tried to whack me with his staff. I dodged it obviously, still, he was relentless. Hit after hit, sprouting beam of energy after another, all too close for my liking. All to vile and vicious. And then, I noticed something. It wasn't about defeating me, it was about disabling me. And he apparently was aware of every single move I made, of every single jump I attempted, each swirl and each slash. It was only a matter of time, as the slim hands reached for my head. The last thing I saw, were his slim hands reaching my head, as he murmured towards me.

"All will be over soon, for the better, for the better."

And then all faded, as silent whispers began to pour through my head. It was a female voice, bit soft, bit agitating, but at the same time, bit crude and sharp, almost like my sword. She whispered numerous things, things of delicate nature at first, then, things of nature far less subtle. Far less appealing for my ears. And then, darkness came.

###

Step back, step forth, pirouette and stab. Roll, switch of stances, yet another feather piercing the sky, quick crouch and uppercut. She dodged it, slick one, I'll give her that. Her feathers were somewhat irritating, as they sliced hard. Not that I cared all that much, even if she attempted to cut me up, she was unable to for obvious reasons – any kind of wound mended instantly. I were a vampire after all. Judging by the looks behind, Fionna dealt with her adversary as well, even though he wanted to smack her on the head. I knew him, yes. He usually dealt with things that hardly made much sense, grabbing sentimental things for reasons hardly understandable. Freaks were like that – they were insane most of the time, so if you were to ask one what he's on about, he would had troubles in answering to that. In the meantime, yet another slash came, followed by a loud screech.

"You are getting quite nervous, huh, birdie?" I dodged yet another stab, pointed right in my mouth. How rude. "Not all according to your well planned... plans?"

"You aren't too bright, are you boy? I see who is the one that thinks around here..."

"Hah, we'll see about that."

I smacked her right at her pointy beak. Despite my efforts however, it didn't break. Shame really. That would at least silence that pesky bird. And she began to do her doings yet again, this time tossing some of her white feathers like daggers. Her efforts were quite futile, as you can imagine, even if some of the sharp things actually managed to hit me. Something happened to Fionna however, as I could no longer see her anywhere near. I couldn't see the wizard for that matter as well. The bird just smiled at me, and then, just then I understood it all. Shame it was a bit too late. A hoarse, calm voice echoed through the chambers.

"Sweet heart?" He even found a moment to clap his hands. "We have it all. Be a good girl, come now."

The bird jumped back and flapped her wings, once again creating numerous, strong gusts of wind. Combined with the power of the man in charge, the sand castle began to collapse right above our heads. The white creature vanished almost instantly, leaving me and the cat inside. So they wanted to bury us in the ground? Well, not the kind of thing I would enjoy, even though I proposed that once to someone. Funny times. He didn't liked that notion as well. There was no time to loose either way, and since the little fuzzy creature was our goal to begin with, I just snatched her cage and ran straight outside, whaling on whatever stood in my way. Sand was sand after all, not too hard to get around, right? When I finally left the place, I saw nothing but a pile of dust behind me. No one will miss that place, that's for sure. Still, not the way I wanted it to go. We found the cat, but lost the girl? That won't look good in my papers, should I were to fill any. What else was there to do, I freed the pesky fleabag from her bindings, and almost instantly got slapped in the face. Not the kind of reward I aimed for, that's for sure. She looked quite furious as well. Pets are like that, so I'm told.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!"

"Thanks, next time we'll..."

"No, you don't get it!" She grabbed her head. "It wasn't about me, it was about her!"

"Obvious..."

"Ugh, listen!"

She stretched her arms and legs, as she began to explain things. Great, just what I needed – switching my hot babe to a cat with issues. Not the turn of events I planned to be in when my so called job ends. But such things are never simple. This time around, it was no different.

"He wanted her." She once again screeched right in my face. "And he wanted her because he wants to summon the dead-lady. In her." She tapped on her fuzzy chest. "Like, inside of her, you know? She's the only human. She was the perfect match." Well, that was quite... unexpected. "I don't know the details." Obviously, cats aren't known for their intelligence. "But he either wants her for his bride. Or as his puppet. Either way, bad news dude."

"Bad news indeed..."

"So what are you going to do exactly?"

"I don't..."

"Marshall! Cake!"

Great, that's what we needed. The prince charming arrived on his black stead. It would seem that he followed us around till this very place. The smirk on his face would indicate that he's indeed quite proud of his achievements. Well, he was always like that. If he wanted to came around and stick for the party, shame he came so late, as the party was long gone, along with it's main attendant.

"You always come when you're least needed."

"By the looks of it, right now, I'm needed the most." He smirked, if only a little. "Listen up. I figured it all out, after you, well, left me behind. But I see I'm too late?" He looked at the cat. She was close to feint from all the excitement apparently. "Still, we have some time, whatever rituals he is about to condone, we can still interrupt it."

"And you know that from..."

"Logical conclusion. All the sentimental stuff he gathered, that was like a bacon. Only strong emotions are able to bring back the thing he wants to bring." The pink guy snapped his fingers. "And voila. Cake over there was just a distraction. He couldn't obviously match Fionna on her own terms. So he created his own. Now it's up to us to get her out of that mess." He waved at his long stead. "Take Cake away please. She is hardly in shape to venture with us."

Monochromicorn just nodded and went off, leaving us alone. Great. Just when I thought that everything will resolve in more pleasing, appealing and less pink matter. Things do like to go the ways I won't like them to go. Charms of life as they say.

"Wait, wait, wait, I never said you can come along on the ride."

"The ride kind off ended when he snatched Fionna, right?" He smiled even more. "Last time you troubled me on your journey, my I remind you. And it was about something far less important I recon."

He had some points, I had to admit. Not that I enjoyed that notion. Changing the company from our little, lustful girl with her full shapes and those precious lips, that velvet skin and those big, round... where was I? Oh, yeah. The prince was hardly a replacement for her, that's for sure. Still, his intelligence, much like his ego, was no doubt his asset. Somewhat.

"Fine."

"Like old times, right?" He scratched his head. "Just our goal is a bit more serious."


	9. Chapter VIII, Sing Me A Song, Bird

**Chapter VIII, Sing Me A Song, Bird**

* * *

I opened my eyes after a while. They dragged me somewhere, where, I couldn't really tell. It looked more pleasant for sure, more sophisticated as well. A mansion no doubt, with fine furniture and whatnot, with a bunch of items just laying everywhere around. I heard he were to collect things that bare a scent of someone's emotion, but clearly, this guy had some issues. Big ones at that. As I tried to stand up on my own, I noticed that I was actually cuffed to the ground with a chain, thus my movements were somewhat limited. Still, it was nice for him to leave me at least some way to move around. Nice and stupid, since it obviously gave me some edge in this situation. Not that there was anything useful in the range of my hands. Only stuff that hardly made any sense, and stuff that I hardly wanted to get near to. So I sat on the nearby sofa. Yes, there apparently was a sofa for me to sit there. Not that I complain for that as well, it was much more appealing than sand. And as I got all comfy and cozy, I heard someone approaching my little room. Judging by the sound of it, it was his white pupil, apparently singing her bird serenade.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, that love is like a song, it flows it bends, it never ends, cross the line of hands, your hands..." Well, someone was in a rather happy mood it would seem. Shame I couldn't share the feeling. You know, being locked up in chains and all. "And then, oh and then, it feels just like a greatest joy, when fingers play just like a toy, and then..."

I looked at her swirling notion. I couldn't really decide if I preferred the way she fought, or the way she danced playfully like a little girl. Probably the first one, since the thing she did now looked kind off creepy, especially knowing the likes of her. I don't judge, I'm just, well, not all that amused. And cautious. Eventually she swirled around once again and sat down on the sofa right next to me, pointing her beak in my direction. She was almost smiling to me for some reason. Being friendly now all of a sudden? Better watch out.

"What are you on about now?" If finally decided to ask. "You're awfully happy it would seem."

"Oh, you won't understand." She tweeted once again. "You are chosen for such great purposes, you cannot even imagine. And I am the part of it, part of making him happy you see."

And she just sat there, gazing at me in even more creepy matter. There was something sharp within her eyes however, almost as if she wished death upon me. Perhaps that was the case? You can never tell for sure with the likes of her. And she apparently was out of her mind, like the rest of the baddies I usually met on my way. Nothing new, if a bit stale and irritating. Eh, I wouldn't mind a sane, sophisticated and intelligent enemy, just once in a while...

"You tried to kill me." I finally said. Just thought that stating the obvious is needed at times. Like, right about now. "Not that long ago even."

"Of course!"

"And you're... quite open about it."

"Sure am." She just shrugged and winked. "You see, if I would kill you, it would only mean that you're not worthy. But you stopped me. So your body is acceptable."

"Acceptable for what?"

"To be the vessel for grander things, obviously."

She looked at me like it was the most well known thing in the world. Her eyes got even more creepy. And those sparks inside them, that gave me chills as well. Whatever were those grander things, I hardly wanted to experience them. I like my body and I like what's in my head. It would be a shame should someone wanted to strip me out of it. Besides, I far more enjoy other types of stripping.

"For now however, I am here to, as they say, make your visit comfortable. Your last moments should be appealing, not to damage this fine vessel." She bowed down in a nonchalant fashion. Still, her words were hardly soothing, so her mannerisms hardly did the thing. "Whatever you desire, shall be granted. For now."

"So... can you free me?"

"Hah. No. Everything but that. You're a smart girl, should have figured that out."

She was right probably, still, it never hurts anyone to ask. At least, most of the time. And who knows with the likes of her. Maybe on this occasion she would do just that? Either way, she began to stare blankly at me yet again, and soon I felt rather uncomfortable about that. I never enjoyed when someone does that, even in his best intentions. Especially when that someone was half crow, half rabbit, with feathers sharp as knives. Not the best company around.

"So what are his plans for me?"

"Grand." She looked at me once again, as her eyes got larger and larger. "You will be a vessel for the dark lady."

"Well..." Not my plans for the future, that's for sure! "Is she like his... what, wife or such?"

"Oh no, no, no, no." She smirked, but blushed slyly while at it. "She's something beyond that. And he wants to control her. No need to concern yourself about that now youngster. All in due time."

She leaned closer towards me, as her beak began to click in a irritating matter. I hardly knew what purpose lied behind that, but if she wanted to get on my nerves, she surly was close to achieving this particular thing.

"So I have something for you actually, since you hardly ask for anything. Bit boring really."

"Something other than wasting my time?  
"Quite so." The bird nodded, ignoring me completely. "You remember your goblin friend? Well, her visions or how she called it, were a gift. A gift from us." She smiled mysteriously. I hardly liked the look of it. "A gift that I shall present to you once again. After all, the well being of this vessel, is what we strive for." She stood up and began to spin around. "Therefore, without much words, enjoy."

She clapped her wings and disappeared, as some feathers floated loosely in the air. That wasn't a good sign, not at all. Much like previously, from numerous spots, a mist began to pour inside of the room. Why they insisted on using that thing, I had no idea. Still, I tried to get away from it as much as I possibly could. There was no point, obviously, since it was as effecting as escaping from air. My eyelids were getting heavier and heavier, despite the struggle of keeping them up. And then, darkness came. One of many, this cliche, everlasting, without a notion of conquering it in the first place. Well, may as well enjoy it since I'm here already. This time the visions were different, as in my head, aside from the notion of getting away from this weirdo, more appealing thoughts ventured. Cake was safe, that I knew at least. Or at least, hoped for, but let's not fool ourselves, I knew that Marshall did his part of the job. He better, if he wants to get something out of it all. I began to ponder, drifting in those misty shades, and then, I heard the familiar song from before. Oh great, this again.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, that love is like a song, it flows it bends, it never ends, cross the line of hands, your hands..."

So, she probably stood somewhere over my unconscious body, laughing to herself as she spewed her bird tweets. Not the greatest thing when you think about it. She said something about joy, right? Well, I hardly felt it being chocked to the edge of my capability, as now someone felt apparently pretty happy about it. And just when I thought I'll be trapped in my own mind bothered by some weird ornithological aviation, I know – fancy words, someone else visited my not so deeply closed thoughts. It would seem that the memory of my little pale 'friend' lingered in my mind deeper than I thought. So he was there, smirking towards me with his usual matter, in the mood for his plays no doubt. Not that I had much against it, just, I would prefer it to be real. Still, in a house full of insane people, every bit of thrill is fun, no?

"So, you came to visit, huh?"

"That I did. See you can't stop thinking about me?"

"My thoughts about you appear at times, yeah. Got a problem with that dude?"

"How to put it babe..." He came closer. I knew that it was in my head, still, I could almost feel his presence near me, body by body. Skin by skin. "I know that you would enjoy bit more than just thinking about me."

He grabbed me in his hands and as they simply say, stole a kiss. His lips were cold, like always, I could feel it deeply, even despite the place I were in. Well, since it's all in my head, hardly anyone would judge me, if I'll have a little bit of fun, right? And when someone like that presses hard towards your lips, when someone like that smudges your over your cheek, when someone like that caresses you inch by inch, step by step, well, why not? Why not indeed.

"...and then, oh and then, it feels just like a greatest joy, when fingers play just like a toy..."

He took off my hat. I had a hat? Hardly even remembered about that. My hair waved in each and every direction as his slim, chilling hands tangled around, grabbing and smudging each and every flick. I still heard the wicked songs however. I think I knew what it was all about. To weaken me, my mind, to show me things, to sooth my thoughts. Yeah, that would make sense, since after that, it would be just a matter of time, before my will would be broken, and the wizard would have what he strove for. Still, I never were the one that breaks and bends easily. Well, at least not the first one. The illusion apparently realized that I figured it all out, as his hands ventured furiously over my body. Inch by inch. Step by step. Once again his tongue met mine, probably to silence my pondering. To silence each and every voice of reason in my head.

"...and then..."

We both took a deep breath. The screeching in the back hardly concerned me at this point. The sounds probably added a bit even if you think about it. Not as much as his presence above me, but, you know the drill. Or maybe to better describe it, he knew the drill.

"...caress it well, and feel the touch, begin the heat, so much, so much..."

If I were correct in my assumptions of breaking my mind and whatnot, they did an exceptional job at it. Who would have resist the charms of this pale, agile body, moving so fast, moving so slick, with his curious hands venturing underneath each and every fabric of my clothing. He was gentle at times, and at times he swiftly switched to a beast, almost leaving the trails on my back. And soon, clothing quickly began to interfere with our plays. And you know what you do with things that interfere. You get rid of them.

"...and play the music from your head, and bind your loved one to your bed..."

And he tossed me on the ground, just like that, climbing on top almost instantly. The surrounding hardly even mattered, as long as I had that cunning smirk above me. As long as I felt the scent of his body. How was that even possible? Perhaps that was the power of that smoke, to imitate even more than just simple looks. No matter. As soon as more than his fingernails was driven within me, the thoughts and visions became a bit blurry.

"...as heart to heart and lip to lip, just hold it tight, don't let it slip..."

Real or not, he never hesitated to put things in motion. Or one thing in particular. Either way, did it appealed to me? A little bit. Each thrust, each move, each wave of force going through my body. Yeah, nice and all. Shame it's just all made up, in my head, and thus, lacks something, something beyond the one sided, dream-like feeling. And again, he tried to silence my thoughts with a well placed kiss.

"...it beats so fast, it beats beyond, no words, no words, just moan of sounds..."

I would say that the heat was unbearable, but if I said that, I would be lying to myself. Pleasing notions passed through my thoughts within thoughts, as I saw what I wanted to see. A bit of adoration isn't a bad thing after all, and a girl likes to be in the center of attention at times. Others like to be in the center as well, one way or another. Still, as pleasing as it is, I know that I prefer a real thing. Something to consider in the future no doubt.

"...but sometimes it's just in your head, the love, the touch, the feel, the bed, and sometimes others come just by, beyond just saying simple 'hi', and you just watch as love is lost, and all destroyed by a corpse."


	10. Chapter IX, In Need Of Brainpower

**Chapter IX, In Need Of Brainpower**

The brute charged almost instantly at this little goblin lady, grabbing her by her rags. Well, our little vampire over there was never known for his subtlety, manners, nothing really. Violence and his hands got along as much as raisins in muffins, I'll tell you that. And if you don't know how those ingredients get along, I'll tell you – pretty nice. And as he tried to shake the answerss out of her, screeching to her long ears, I just sighted.

"You little... you set us up." Once again he shook her small frame. She was like a green jelly when you think about it. "Tell me where he took her! Tell me or it'll end bad for..."

"Marshall, Marshall, Marshall..." I had to interfere. That was just sad to watch. The way he dealt with people, ugh. Hardly any type of etiquette, always leaving a nasty aftertaste. Like burnt bread. "Leave her alone. I'm guessing that there are other methods to loosen up her tongue."

She looked with suspicion at my presence. Can't blame her I guess, in those lands, bright colors are a feature that anyone hardly indulges himself into. Little, pitiful being. Why is this world full of such things I at times wonder. To sell others for a bunch of coins and a puff of smoke that makes the dreams real for a little while. It's almost so pathetic that it fascinates me. That it thrills me. Lowlife. Such a rare occasion to encounter such filthy behavior. It makes me actually proud, that I educated my own subject in such precise matter, to avoid scums like that roaming in my kingdom. Deep inside, we're all judgmental, aren't we?

"Lady goblin, I, in opposition to my friend over there, am willing to take more precise and less direct measures to persuade you." I nonchalantly bowed before her. "Question remains the same and..."

"Xergia doesn't know, I just!..."

"Let's drop the act of you not knowing, and us being stupid enough to fall for it, since falling for it would indicate that both you, and us while at it, are hardly intelligent for taking this kind of route." I leaned closer towards her, since I saw that my words grabbed her attention, if only a little. "I have a proposal, with coins, no doubt. You will get something out of it. We as well. How does that sound to you?"

"Many coins?"

"I assure you that there will be enough coins to make it worth your while. And, to be more precise, our while as well."

I put out a satchel that I held for such occasions, and when the yellow wonders began to pour on her grim table made out of mud and I don't even want to know what, her eyes glittered. You can buy anyone, if you know the price and enough funds to do so. And the price of buying yourself a goblin was always the same.

"I know the way." She began to count them all. Greed is the best feature in such beings. It always dooms them, one way or another. "Or, partially. The white one always reeked of death from within her feathers. There's only one place that smells like that in those lands. That has so much death in it. A place when you bury things you don't want to dig up." She smiled. Well, her teeth looked like coins, and were as yellow I guess. "You are a smart boy, aren't you? Figure out the rest. You won't survive either way."

"Right, right, I know, I know, you will not survive, the dead will consume you, no turning back, no one ever returned, yada-yada." I flicked my hand. Heard that a couple of times. Maybe even more so than a couple. Always bored me. "Which direction we should go, and we're off, for you to count your coins."

"Further south. The rot will guide you. Until it'll get unbearable."

Cryptic. Hardly scary. Answers were given either way, like always. No more need to linger in here. She got what she wanted, we got what we wanted. Therefore we parted. She obviously couldn't figure out that those so called coins were made out of candy. The one that is hard to chew. The one that will melt away eventually. One of my finer works if I were to say it. Doubt that she'll think that way once she'll find out. No one appreciates a fine craftsmanship nowadays. The information given was what we needed however. Or rather what our little brute needed. He never saw the bigger picture, and this time, it was no different. It was hard not to see it this time around. A wizard. A maniac. Trying to resurrect something. What? Obviously his dead lady. Why is it important? It's because last time she was around, she almost made the world explode and rot afterward. If that's not a good reason, then I don't know what is.

"So, you believe in what she just said? She tricked us before and..."  
"Marshall, Marshall, Marshall..." It was delightful when he was concerned about something. And dependent on someone. "Words and a little bit of fake cash can get you to places beyond your imaginings." It's sometimes hard to be polite to everyone. "I should know that. Did that whole my life."

"Yeah, right. I'll be the one laughing when it'll turn out to be yet another trap. We should have bashed her right in the face."

"As usual, you lack manners - you don't bash ladies in the face." I bowed down slightly. "Even the ones that are green and rather... not entertaining for the eye, to put it that way."

"Either way smart-ass, where to now? Her instructions were rather... bland."

"There's only one place around here that matches her description, 'detective'. Tell me, you hardly examined the maps, right?" His face almost turned red. I like those colors on there. It means I'm breaching his little limits. It means that for once, the he isn't the one that annoys someone. "There's a place out here, it got a fancy name and whatnot. A tomb, where things were buried. Things that everyone wanted to forget about."

"And you somehow remember?"

"It's my job to remember what's buried where Marshall." Once again I chuckled. "Should someone wanted to dig it up, I'm there to stop it."

"You and your made up duties."

"They never were 'made up'. Thought that by now you would understand that. Duties never mean that something has to end, hm?" Different times, different story. "Let's go. Our damsel is in a peril."

The journey was bland and rather uninteresting. And if I find something uninteresting, you can bet that you hardly want to hear about it. Of course, there were occasional remarks from my companion, but that was to be expected. He is after all a pale nuisance, a child trapped in a larger body when it comes to interpersonal relations. He is charismatic however, I'll give him that. Perhaps that's why 'the skirts' always lined up for him. Oh well. Quality over quantity, right? Either way, as much as we enjoyed sand getting into our eyes and mouths, it eventually ended, as we breached the not-so-peaceful sanctuary of the dead. A graveyard to be precised. The one located on the dunes themselves, touched by the rot and mold on it's dusty walls. Yuck.

"Well, this place is hardly designed for my standards." I picked the cobweb from the fence. "Ugh. When was the last time someone cleaned here. Properly I mean."

"Oh, oh, look at me. I will get dirt on my dress, oh woe is me, woe is me."

I just smiled. What else should I do. Commenting on such childish behavior would only gave him satisfaction. I'm not the one who wishes to give him that. No, that would be Fionna. Either way, we ventured onwards, around the gravestones and whatnot. It was almost as if someone tried his best to make this place creepy and, to say bluntly, spooky. And it was that way, if only a bit. Perhaps the undead things that emerged after we took few steps ahead had something to do with it. So, the house keeper had some pets. Nice. Marshall was always hotheaded about such things, as he almost instantly rushed ahead to battle with them. Foolish behavior. Being whom he is, he hardly could realize that bashing on them will hardly do the job. Those types of folks just come back when you beat them, regenerate, and the fun starts all over. Of course there are methods to deal with them. One would involve attaching the sentimental value to them, and as they rejoice with it, they can go freely from this world, if only for a little while. We hardly had time for that. In science and cooking, there's no place for sentiments. What works on the dead, rotten beings you'd ask? Well, you'd be surprised, along with our little brute. Salt. Salt works wonders on those that linger in this world, that aren't really aware that they are. Shame at times it doesn't work on vampires. Oh well. Either way, I had to intervene, since our little nuisance was hardly getting anywhere at this point. A sip of salt here, a sip of salt there, and voila, their faces almost began to melt down from the very touch of this wondrous powder. It all comes back to baking, one way or another. As I nonchalantly moved out of his way, the brute did all the work he was designed to do. There were some exceptional skills involved in his movements, after all, he was just that, a monster with his monstrous desires to wreck everything on his path in the end. A bad mannered monster at that, should I say. It was visible with every bash, smash and other rather poorly executed yet fitting moves. And soon, all the crafty summoned and resurrected beasts lied on the ground, with him in the middle, aching for more it would seem, delightful.

"How did you know what will work on them?" He sounded almost... amused. "And how come you were prepared?"

"Well, I'm always prepared to face off those that threaten my land. And my subjects." Once again I bowed down. Yes, my subjects. Important. At times. "But for you, the enough amount of information would be – I'm always prepared. Don't think about it, or it'll overheat whatever is left in that head of yours."

The truth was a bit different, I had to admit. While the undead beings are hardly my concern and my line of work in the usual matter, I preferred to be somewhat protected from their whereabouts, should they ever emerged and try to attack in a more organized matter. Partially out of curiosity, obviously, partially however, because when the first time this brutal nuisance showed his pale face around, one could only assume that he was up for no good. I were right, partially, but lucky for him, he's just annoying, not necessary threatening to the world. Either way, since his being is hardly interesting enough to debate further, we stood before the entrance to what looked like a crafty made mausoleum. What lied inside, I could only guess and imagine. And it wasn't a hard guess, oh no.

"So, poltergeist extraordinaire, lead on."

"Oh, no need to be snide Marshall." I think he's worried about her. Emotions in him? Touching. Need to investigate further at some point. Fascinating step for science – a brainless brute developing an affection. As I lightened up my torch made out of sugar, I couldn't help myself but to look at him and chuckle. "I always were smarter than you, admit it."

"A tiny bit maybe." He smirked and chuckled. "I were the better looking though."

"You'd wish tha..."

We were mildly interrupted by yet another undead fiend that jumped out of nowhere. Salt is fine and all, if you are meant to bash things afterward. If something comes on you like that, well, you need to take more direct approach at times. What else works well on the dead? Fire. As I swirled my torch around, I managed to thrust it right inside the ghoul's throat. It was set ablaze like a wondrous wicker man. Oh the show, oh the show. Marshall looked quite surprised.

"So, there's a bit of the old you out there, hm Before you got boring and bland?" Hmpf. As if I ever were boring and bland! My tea parties were always astonishing, delightful, wondrous and, and!... well, maybe a little bit... "Like old times, eh?"

"Most certainly." I bowed once again. "Lead on. Darkness is your ally after all, right friend?"


	11. Chapter X, And Here We Go

**Chapter X, And Here We Go**

* * *

So they tied me to the table and dressed into some old gown that probably belonged to the dead lady herself. Well, their choice was hardly surprising, the villains do the same in every cliche old book, movie or whatever. Good thing that the dress itself smelled somewhat nice. If I were to judge just by the looks, I would assume it bared the scent of rags that mopped the floor few times too many. And speaking about such hideous things, there was of course the main host of this cheerful event. He stood right above me, as his eyes swirled around in amusement, almost as if at this very point he was capable of sprouting some emotions from within the depths of his weirdly shaped head. Oh, so we were at this moment already? Time for the usual stuff then. And by usual, I mean the typical villain and heroine banter, in which we shall decide what his plan is and how it will be futile to stop him. Never liked that point, I must say. Either way, at least he wasn't one of those obscure beings that liked to inspect their subjects inch by inch. No, he was quite civilized actually. He even began to speak on his own, what a twist.

"So our great moment is at hand. Soon you shall become something greater. Feeling nervous?"

"Not really, heard that a couple of times in my life. Always ended the same."

"I bet. Sweetheart?" Almost instantly, the bird appeared by his side, checking every single knot on my body. She almost felt joy, as any given task only agitated her more and more so, beyond belief. Well, everyone has their little weird hobbies I guess. Serving a madman could be counted as one. "Everything seems to be on the spot right?" He flipped his hand nonchalantly. He could use some gloves on those sinewy hands. Yuck. "Of course it is, it's always on the spot."

"Aren't you a little bit full of yourself?"

"Being confident has nothing to do with being full of, as you put it, myself." He tapped on the table right next to my head. His fingernails could use a bit of work. And by a bit, I mean a lot. "You will soon understand that. But since the preparations shall take a while, as they usually do in those types of scenarios, any wishes?"

"As in, last wishes?"

"Oh, no, not quite. You see, your vessel will remain." He tapped himself on the chest. Was it to encourage me? I wonder. "It's just your mind that will be swooped away. That's why we're interested somewhat in the needs of your body. Not so much of the rest however. Sweetheart?"

He turned around, as he began his search for something in the large, partially burnt book, located on a nearby desk. Why those types of books were always in such terrible state I wonder. It was almost as if the owner of such literature did it on purpose, for it to look more menacing. Judging by his, um, curious fashion choice, perhaps that was the case. Either way, the bird quickly came by my side and began her usual tweeting, still inspecting every knot on my body, every chain that was meant to hold me in place.

"Like I told you before, you're designed to become something greater." She blinked a couple of times right before my face. Sparks spanned within them, the reason for that was unknown to me however. "You see, the mistress shall be transferred into your body, via her phylactery." She pointed at the medallion on my neck. Huh, I thought it was for decoration purposes. "And due to that, she will remain here." The white one tapped her feathers around my neck, leaving small marks. "We have some restrictions and means to control her however due to our little ritual. So, it won't be a problem that she'll go insane on destruction department. Again. Either way, what it means for you, is that you will go poof. Like that." She nodded to herself more so than towards any other. "So, what do you wish in your final moments?"

Can't say I would enjoy that, oh no. Loosing myself within myself, now that sounded almost poetic, still, I never enjoyed poetry as much as I enjoyed punching things in the head. That type of girl you see. Either way, perhaps I weren't as smart as the prince, but I needed to think of something fast. So they wanted to let the dead lady inside of me. Bit unpleasant. I guessed that there was a way to disrupt it somehow however, despite the odds. And ropes. That's all I could count on at this point. Damn it Fionna, you should have listen to the prince more often. Especially when he talked about all the nifty stuff about the dead and the not-so-much... um... dead. Decisions had to be made quick however. And I, in my not-so-smart mind figured out one of them.

"A tea."

"Just a tea?" The bird had trouble believing me. Perhaps she was used to more sophisticated last wishes. Figures. "Like, a cup, yes?"

"Yep. Just a tea."

She still had a hard time believing me. Good I guess, I always liked to surprise people. The white one just gazed at her master, apparently not really sure what to do about this weird situation. Smart one, she knew that there was something wrong about that wish. Still, the wizard just shrugged, apparently used to weird and nonsensical requests. So the feathered one did just that, as she poured the drink right into my mouth. Not the grandest of plans, but hey, I'm no Gumball.

"Enough of that." The one in charge clapped his hands impatiently. Guess he was running short on time. Good enough, I don't like delaying things. "You will feel just a... temporary nuisance. Don't mind it too much. It will all go away with a blink of an eye."

Well, I'm not the smartest of the bunch, that's for sure. I cannot properly tell a difference from one number to another. Mathematics? Physics? Bah! Still, I can be cunning if needed to be, oh that I can. Therefore, I waited. He rose up his slick hands and began to shout his incantations, while the bird waited patiently behind. This thing on my neck, it began to burn and itch. I tried to do something about it, still, since my hands were tied up, there hardly was a chance to do that. Not like he would let me do that anyways. Soon enough, the beams of energy began to sprout from within his fingernails, as he wanted to grab my head. His eyes went blank, as light started to pour from within them. The bird came closer as well, carrying a skull of the one they tried to resurrect. Yuck. In this case, there was only one think I could think of, therefore I simply spat the tea right in his glowing face, as the energy began to flow everywhere around. He was a wizard. He should see it coming with his wizard eyes, right?

###

"Those tunnels are getting more and more tiresome, I must say."

"What did you expect? Fluffy carpets and walls made out of pillows?"

"No..." I shrugged. "But it would be a nice change, no?"

We ventured onwards. Those chitchats kept us somewhat entertained, as the maze before us got a bit ridiculous in it's complexity. It's a good thing I'm always prepared, and this time was no different. I marked each and every single place we were in with my pink glow sticks. Being lost? What's that? Not on my watch, oh no. Some of us may lack certain skills and understandings, me on the other hand, oh no, no, no. A prince should know his fancywork. Marshall was hardly impressed. Come to think of it, he never was. At least on the outside. Inside of his head however? Now that was probably a different type of story. A story that I will never have the opportunity to see I guess. Perhaps it was for the best. Not really sure if I would like to venture there. At least he had a bit of a chuckle about the sticks themselves. And their color. And mine. Typical. And as I thought about those important things, since my head was always occupied with importance, an arrow slipped from within the clutches of a nearby wall, piercing my pale friend. Well. It's good that he was dead, otherwise it could end up badly for him. Eventually we managed to pull it off, as I inspected it's head.

"Sharp."

"Truly, you are smart."

Ah, the jealous remarks were back. Not that I minded them all that much. Well, not always at least. He was whom he was, and I were whom I were. Either way, one trap would indicate that there will be more. And, obviously, there were. With my skills of disarming them, and Marshall skills to... um, bump into most of them, we were fine however, at least until we got to something bit bigger. Bit more menacing. A humanoid figurine, huge and carved in stone, that looked at us from above from within his empty hollows. Well now, our host likes to keep his guests entertained and occupied, right?

"What's that?"

"That would be a golem."

"And what does he..." The creation began to move right in front of our eyes. Fascinating, when you think about it. How many things inside are required to put it in motion. It's not just magic, oh no, it requires a fair share of technology as well, locked up inside that shell. It was only natural that Marshall hardly understood that. "Uh, not good..."

The thing began his motion. It was wondrous! Whoever created it was skilled, that's for sure! The way steam poured from within it's nape, the way it covered its eyes. And it was white steam no less! Not some black smoke you see when you burn too much coal in your little fireplace, oh no, it was pure. Shame it was used that way however. To use such marvel, simply as a guardian of the dead? Distasteful! Either way, the abomination charged at us, and began to pound the ground with it's huge, crude hands. It was like an unstoppable engine of destruction that tried to make us flat. Not really enjoyed that part of it. Aside however, it was quite fascinating I must say. The narrow corridors provided little place to dodge as well, and it was only a matter of time before it would get us in his hands.

"Hey, brain lord." Marshall finally decided to speak out, as he tried his best to punch and smash the thing into little bits. It was hardly a surprise that it didn't worked the way he planned to. At times in life, you simply need something more than just swift and agile hands. Shame he never realized that in full. "How to stop that?"

"Keep it occupied." There's always a way, yes, there is. Need to think, think. "I will do the rest."

He just nodded. Our little vampire can be agreeable if time comes. He took the blows on him, while I slipped behind the monster. Come to think of it, that hardly sounded right. Either way, while the huge contraption was occupied in smashing the ground, as the agile creature of the night shifted constantly just to avoid it's pummeling, I found a way to the golem's back. He didn't felt a thing, as I climbed onto the colossus, which was only natural – they lacked skin and any organs to make them feel. On the back of his head, there were numerous cogs and switches. Now to figure out which was the correct one. My supreme intelligence would advise me to go to the ones on the left, as they were responsible for the movements of his legs, while my instinct told me that it would be better to disarm his arms. Disarm an arm, hah, that's a good one.

"Hurry up!"

My companion shouted, as he had less and less space to maneuver, due to all the falling rocks and other various objects swung by the creature. Well, he always bragged about how powerful he is, a test to his skills was only natural. One wire to the left, one wire to the right, yes, that should do it, that should be it. Why it still moved however? No, something was not right, and when the aberration grabbed our little nuisance in his hand eventually, I needed to act fast. And when you act fast, you don't think as much as you should, therefore I simply smashed all the nifty apparatus. Shame really, I could learn so much from it! Either way, it was just the thing to make him stop, as I jumped down happily that I fulfilled my role.

"You took your precious time princess."

"Hey, can't rush some things, huh? Obviously you cannot."

Yep, someone still was jealous. Not my concern however, and he quickly shrugged it off as well. Luckily for us, there weren't many traps on the rest of our way, no creatures of pure magic and mayhem as well. It was only a matter of time, before we reached the main chamber, in which the ceremonies were meant to held. Well, we hardly expected the things we saw inside. There was a gaping hole, right in the middle of the room, almost as if someone made it with a tremendous magical force. Fionna was missing, obviously, while the two that held her captive were still present, much to our surprise. The bird tried to clean up the mess, while the wizard simply sat by the desk, covering his forehead with the palm of his hand. As soon as he saw us, he stood up, apparently awaiting our arrival.

"You come to the party? Shame that our guest ruined it all." He sighted deeply. "Laugh if you will. Not much to laugh at however." He grinned a little bit. He was quite... repulsive, I must say. "There will be some destruction after all. Just, not the type I planned it to be..."


	12. Chapter XI, Something Locked Inside

**Chapter XI, Something Locked Inside**

* * *

I ran. Ran as fast as possible, hardly even feeling the need to stop by. I saw many things before my eyes, I saw as the surrounding shifted before me. Sand, trees, rivers, ponds, meadows. All of them were somewhat familiar, I were here, yet nothing bare any significance for me, as my legs still moved swiftly. Why I ran? I could not tell. It was just that notion in my brain that ordered me to do so. Something happened last night. The wizard, the bird, the ritual. But what was it exactly? Couldn't really tell that as well. My head spanned like a carousel, and my thoughts swirled around in an uncontrollable fashion. I think that whatever the sorcerer did, hardly worked out for him. Or did it? He spoke so much about his well crafted plans, maybe that was the part of it. My hands, they were shaped weirdly. My fingers were somewhat, thinner? Or was it just my imagination. That could be the case as well, yes. Or maybe that was yet another vision they dragged me into, just like previously? Preferred the one with Marshall, I must say. My head hurt because of all that thinking. Something lingered deep inside. I could feel it. Not good. I finally managed to stop, or rather, my legs let me do just that. I felt heat, unbearable one, almost as if my insides were set on fire. Hope that's not what they did to me. As I tried to drink as much as I could, eventually the thirst somewhat stopped. When I rose my head a bit, I saw something I should saw miles away. In the reflection, I gazed at the two empty, hollowed spots, from which small sparks poured everywhere around. Her teeth clicked back and forth, as her face was fixated in a grim smile. Well, I may not be the prettiest one, but um, there are some limits. Jokes aside, I read about her once. Stories about the great heroine that stopped her once and for all and trapped somewhere within the kingdom, as she was never meant to be freed from within her prison. It would seem that the duo that captured me managed to find her corpse, and put the dead thing inside of me. Guess that's what the ugly one rambled about, she was meant to take control over me huh? Shame I were able to disrupt him in doing so, if just a little bit. Still, what I saw in the water was worrisome.

"Greetings, Fionna the Human." She waved at me almost playfully, as her rotten teeth formed a disgusting and repulsive grin. She at least somewhat matched the magician, that's for sure. "You look surprised. Are you surprised? Are you surprised..."

"My Glob..."

"Your Glob won't help you now." Her teeth once again began to cluck rapidly. Like a taping machine. Only bit more menacing and annoying. "Oh no. No..."

My hand began to glow, so did hers. As the sparks of green flame began to circle around my fingers, I pointed towards the nearest tree. Not that I wanted to do so, something in my head ordered me this course of action however. That something was quite obvious, right? I simply looked, as the burst of energy shot right at it, devouring it within the unstoppable energy. That wasn't a good sign, clearly not.

"What is it, Fionna the Human? Having trouble enjoying our little share of might? You could clearly get used to it. Such untamed power is nothing to shrug off. Come to think of it, you may even start to enjoy it... you may even start to..."

Once again, I pointed unwillingly towards yet another being, this time more lively, as it was a deer of sorts. He just stood there, looking at us curiously. I could not shout to scare him off, it was beyond my capability. But then I realized I had to do something. Isn't control over yourself a part of being a hero? So I did just that, as I managed to redirect the beam elsewhere.

"So, our little girl likes to play around."

She looked at me almost in amusement. Guess every wile and evil individual likes to toy with it's victims. This time around, it was no different. I should expect that. Still, both of us hardly gained what we wanted. I never asked for company in my body. Guess she never asked for someone in her new vessel as well.

"Just imagine all the possibilities." She began to chant once again. "You don't lack imagination, right girl? Always numerous ideas in your head. Always a way to find your way in this world. Imagine the possibilities, imagine the possibilities..."

"No..."

"Give in..." Her bone hands poked the place where her cheeks should be. Just now I noticed, that I did exactly the same. "Power like that shouldn't be wasted, shouldn't be contained... No..."

"I won't."

"Give in, Fionna the Human..." Her gray hair waved everywhere around, as the sparks lightened up once again in her empty hollows. "You should agree... should agree, together, we're something grander. Power like this can be also used to lie. To maim. Not only to destroy. Such possibilities... I'm sure he would like it. You like if he'd like it, don't you? Yes. And you... You'd be... Something better... something..."

"No!" I shouted, as I pulled out my sword and put it right next to my throat. She wanted to gamble and tease? I hardly had time for those kinds of things. "Attempt to do so, and we're going down together. Is that what you want? To die yet again?"

She looked at me, quite surprised actually. Apparently she doubted in my skills, as well as she doubted that I will actually menage to regain control over myself. I somewhat felt joy to disappoint her this time. Still, what I saw in her eyes would only indicate that she calculated all the adds, all the possibilities, all the advantages and disadvantages. What was in her mind, I wonder. Shame I couldn't read her mind as much, as she probably could read mine.

"No..." She sounded almost disappointed. "

She changed. As the bones gained muscles, as muscles gained skin, something else emerged. Something more pleasing to the eye. Something tempting even for some. I would call her the allurement of beauty. Funny world, should have use it more. Still, she looked gorgeous, with her long, red hair and huge, green eyes.

"Are we really that different?" She smiled at me. Guess she wanted to gain some sympathy. Not feeling like it. "I were curious at first you see. Then I wanted more. Curiosity is never a bad thing, Fionna the Human. It leads you to such fascinating places. Fascinating."

"I don't want to hear about it."

"Just imagine, getting the praise you deserve, from everyone, from everyone you wish to gain it, Fionna the Human..." She playfully tangled her hair on one of the fingers. I did the same, my other hand was tightly holding the sword's handle. She couldn't do anything about it. "Why pick, when you can have it all. Why think when you can only raise your hand. I were curious... we're the same, deep inside. You don't know my motives, when I grabbed all what I deserved, Fionna the Human. Perhaps I did it for the same reasons you could do it? Perhaps you could do the same? Perhaps..."

"No!" Once again, the blade came closer to our throats. I think I overacted a bit, since few red dots appeared on the edge. "When I say no, it means no. Got it?"

"Be it that way, Fionna the Human. We don't have to be enemies. We don't have to..."

And just like that, she simply disappeared, as I could clearly see myself now once again. Well, I had my better days, that's for sure. Those eye shadows, uh. Apparently I were still in those filthy rags as well. Not like I enjoyed that all that much, but at least it somewhat covered me. Just now I felt that it's cold. Guess her presence abandoned me for some time. Where were I anyways. A forest of sorts it would seem. How far from the rest were I? How far from the safe walls of the Candy Kingdom? Well, there was nothing for me to do, I had to find my way and go. But where? Just as I thought about the direction I should head, my body felt weirdly light. Perhaps the reason behind it was the sore fact that I began to float. Guess there were some benefits of having that... thing in my body. Not that I enjoyed the notion of using the powers given to me, still, a bit won't hurt, to get out of here, wherever I were. As I reached the higher peek, far above the trees and other elements of this rather dull landscape, I gazed upon the ground. There were some lights here and there, small candy villages of people full of their dull doings. I came a long way that night it would seem. The world looked so small from this angle. Everything hardly mattered. Every single little solitary being. Like ants almost. Every single one could be crushed between my fingers, could be smashed underneath my heel. I could do that, yes. And no one would even notice a difference. No one would even care if that goblin over there, hiding his goods from his wife would disappear. No one would even care if that one lone wolf that separated himself from his pack would go missing. World wouldn't noticed if that smith over there, preparing his shop for the day to come, would end up with a slit throat. Unimportant. Trivial. This world was so uninteresting. Full of filth that could be erased. Easily erased. Such weaklings. No wonder some would like to change this state of affairs. No wonder some would like to change it. No wonder... No, no, no! Enough, enough of those thoughts, enough! I quickly landed on the ground, as I looked on the pond once again. She was absent from my reflection this time around, however, was she really needed there? I saw myself, grinning at the things I thought, smiling at the things I considered. It frightened me. I had to go, somewhere, somewhere safe, for now at least. Safe for me? Oh no, obviously not. Safe for others. Yes, safe for others.

"You can run from the world..." She again began to speak, this time however, her voice trembled directly in my head. It had a nice ring to it, almost as if she tried to convince me. Almost as if she tried to seduce me. "...but why should you run Fionna the Human? Why should you run I wonder. You are such a weird being..."

"Shut up..."

"You could change the world to your liking..." The voice got smoother and smoother, almost like a silent, melodic murmur that swam throughout my mind. She tried to be soothing. It worked somehow. "...bend to your liking. You enjoy when things bend, don't you, Fionna the Human?" I hardly wanted to respond to her. Why should I? She would try to shift my words either way. Shift, and use them against me. "Trying silence on me? That's foolish child. That's foolish..." She was almost hissing at me, I couldn't really tell if that was the way she expressed her anger or joy. Either way, both of those weren't the things I aimed for. Not in the slightest. Once again, she moved my hands against my will, as she pointed to the nearest trees once more. "Now, Fionna the Human, perhaps you should lighten up that forest? To give you some warmth? Not the same as the warmth of someone's body next to you, but it will do, right? Aren't you cold? Aren't you cold..."


End file.
